Kate08, I’m assuming this is your husband’s baby and not his friend’s baby (does ‘hook-up’ always mean sex?). I’m also assuming that you’ve already decided not to tell your husband about the cheat. I’m sure Boston.com readers will have plenty to say about that, but let’s focus on your specific question.
There is no magic pill for guilt. You’ll never forget. The best case scenario is that eventually the incident will seem like fiction, something that happened in a dream. Hopefully, the memory will fade for the best friend, too. My fingers are crossed that he feels the same way.
But if he doesn’t – and if you have other, less-appropriate feelings that you did not disclose in your letter — well, that’s a different letter and a different answer. If you’re asking me, simply, “When does the memory fade?” — I can’t give you a specific date. Eventually it gets fuzzy. That’s the best you can hope for, short of a lobotomy.
Readers? Can you assuage Kate08’s guilt? Should she have told her husband about the hook-up? Share your thoughts here. Read the late-night comments added to yesterday’s Brady Bunch letter here. Submit your own letter to the right. And start thinking of questions for tomorrow’s chat at 1 p.m. You can find it here at Boston.com/loveletters.
— Meredith