I was widowed rather suddenly almost 5 years ago after over 25 years of marriage. It has taken me a great deal of time to put my life back together again. About a year ago, I met a wonderful, thoughtful, charming young man who I was very much taken with. He is 20 years my junior. But when we are together, we are of one mind and age is only a number. Our friendship started off as casual, but one night, he had a bit too much to drink and came on to me. I turned him down since I didn’t think I was ready to move in that direction, and also because he had been drinking and I didn’t want him to regret his decision.
Oddly enough, after that, our friendship grew even more. But he indicated that he was glad I said no since he was afraid that sex would have complicated our friendship and that he was not going to ask again. That was over 8 months ago, and since then, we have grown very close, and I know now that I am in love with him, and I truly believe that he loves me. I would love to take our platonic relationship to the next level. But, because of the difference in our ages, I don’t know how to bring up the subject with him. And I am afraid that I embarrassed him when I said no, that he’s not going to ask again. And, to be quite honest, I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize our wonderful friendship, even if it means loving him within the limits.
I don’t know what to do — I can’t help but think at times that he is waiting for a sign from me, but what if I have misunderstood and I embarrass or upset him? I would never want to do that to him, but I can’t imagine ever wanting anyone else. Am I crazy for wanting this relationship in the first place? Should I take the risk and tell him that I love him?
— Older Woman, Providence