Hi Meredith, love the column!
For literally the past 3 years my friend and her co-worker have been talking about what a perfect match I would be for the co-worker’s friend. Issue: he has had the same girlfriend for each of those 3 years.
A few weeks ago I was out at a bar with my friend and we ran into her co-worker and “my future husband” (as they have said at least 100 times). As soon as we saw them, my friend was quick to pull me aside and point out that his relationship with his girlfriend is on the rocks and he has been talking openly about breaking it off with her.
He and I talked for literally hours at the bar and I had a great time. He asked for my number towards the end of the night, and since I thought he was breaking up with his girlfriend, I gave it to him.
We have hung out several times – purely innocently – mostly in a group setting. His friends seem to like me, and whenever we go out, we always sit next to each other. We haven’t even held hands or kissed or any of that jazz. In fact, its been so innocent, at first it seemed it just was a friendly sort of thing – only he has never once mentioned his girlfriend, who he met at school and lives in New York.
Recently, we’ve been texting and talking more frequently, and some serious sexual tension has weaved its way into the scene.
I really only gave him my number because I thought he was breaking up with his girlfriend. I dread the idea of becoming the “other woman” and would never get physical with him knowing there is some poor girl out there. But I feel like we really have a connection. I also could be totally misconstruing the situation and he could think we are just two people who are into the same sort of things – totally Platonic.
Am I in denial with the idea he’ll break up with his girlfriend? Should I mention to him I know she exists? Should I just cut my losses and hit the road?
Please help!
— Confused, Charlestown