Letter 2 Of The Day: Moonbeam Waits

Friday | January 23, 2009

Love Letters Relationships

Letter 2 Of The Day: Moonbeam Waits

First date last Friday night – haven’t heard from him since – is it doomed? You’d think at my age (47) I wouldn’t have all this insecurity, but I really liked this one, and we had a really nice time, and I’m sad that I haven’t even gotten an e-mail. How long before I write this one off? I know I could contact him, but I need to know he’s willing to make an effort — we had a couple of false starts in the past before we actually met last week (he was the one who vanished both times) and he has a consuming job (scientist), but I just want to be a little pursued! Thanks!
Moonbeam, Belmont

Let’s take a deep breath, Moonbeam.
First things first. Have you e-mailed him to say you had a nice time? If not, you should. People often wait for a cue before trying to line up date #2. He’s a scientist, not a mind reader.
If you’ve already sent that note, then yes, there’s a chance he doesn’t want date #2. Unless his urgency just doesn’t match yours. Or he got locked in his lab. It happens.
The big thing here is this: “I just want to be a little pursued.” You said it. Having someone make an effort is important to you right now.
Wanting to be wanted is fair, and this guy hasn’t been great about wanting — especially if you have e-mailed and he has ignored.
Again, if you haven’t sent a note, do so. For all you know, he’s waiting by the computer right now. If you have sent the “thank you,” consider moving on. Nice men who like to pursue are not always easy to find, but they exist. Thoughts, everyone? Share them here.
— Meredith
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