Meredith, I have found myself in a dating predicament I honestly don’t know how to handle. Here it goes:
My friend, lets call her Kate, has been talking about setting me up with one of her co-workers, let’s call him Ethan, for about 2.5 years. In the beginning I was fresh out of a bad break up and so wasn’t ready. Then he had a girlfriend, I was dating someone…etc… etc. We just never got the timing right.
Then, this November he happened to ask Kate for my number again, and low and behold, the timing was right. We were both uninvolved. Kate had always said she didn’t want to set me up with Ethan unless I was completely single and ready to get to know someone, because he was a really nice guy and she knows how I “can be with guys.” I understood – I have been the love ‘em leave ‘em kinda gal since I had my heart broken 2.5 years ago. Not really caring about the guys, dating multiple guys at once, not looking for anything serious. It’s been fun, I’ll tell you that much, but its getting kind of old.
So I finally meet up with Ethan and we hit it off. Not like sparks flying across the room (from my end anyway), but there was definitely good chemistry and we had a great first date. We also had a great second date, third date, etc. It was a little slow going in the beginning because of the holidays and travel schedules (we’re both avid skiers), but about 2 weeks ago, I started to think this was really going somewhere. He’s smart, funny, nice, treats me well. But just when I think I like this guy and I’m ready to give up my dating ways for him, poof, he disappears!
And the disappearance went like this – We had a really great date – spent the entire day together. True, it was a little relationship-y but he seemed totally into it! Then, during the week that followed he was less than good at getting in touch. I thought I’d hear a “I had fun yesterday!” or something text (or even better, a call) but no. Nothing. Finally we texted back and forth (late in the week) and made tentative plans for Sunday. Then, poof again. I didn’t hear from him at all over the weekend. Finally, Monday early morning, I get a text to the effect of “Sorry I’ve been MIA. I had to head up to VT to deal with some things. Hope you had a nice weekend!”
And now what I am supposed to do with THAT?! Deal with some “things.” Is his family demanding? Does he have a crazy ex up there? Why isn’t he telling me? What’s he got to hide?
Since the “hey I’m back, but going to be extremely evasive” text, communication has been limited to almost non-existent. Normally, I would just not care, because that’s how I’ve been with guys for so long. But I actually like Ethan, and we have a mutual friend. I am pissed, but also feel like I should give him the benefit of the doubt. (A couple years back I was in a similar situation and it turned out the guy’s father had had a heart attack over thanksgiving week!) However, this is different. With Ethan, I just have a gut feeling that this is an attempt to blow me off. If he was still interested wouldn’t he have made an effort to get together? I’m confused because Kate has touted this guy to be “the nicest guy, someone that would treat me like gold.” I feel like she has a very good sense of character and couldn’t be this far off base, but I definitely don’t feel like I’m being treated like gold. Is he just not that into me and I should just drop it? Do I even have a right to be angry considering the short amount of time we’ve been dating? I’m really not sure how to handle this.

– He’s just not that into me?, Boston