Nancy, you have your act together – this man doesn’t. Your intentions were understandable, but he wants you for more than friendship. He wants you as a way out. He wants you for security and hope.
You can be a good friend to him by advising therapy and by telling him that if he’s ever single – really single – he’s welcome to check in for a friendship.
You’re upset about your own dating history. That means you’ve probably enjoyed getting attention from someone from your past. It probably felt safe. But spending time with a married man with one foot out the door isn’t the way to end a loser streak.
You say you’re comfortable with him, but if he was making you feel comfortable, you wouldn’t be writing to us.
Tell him that you care about him, but that he needs to deal with his life with help from platonic friends. You can’t offer him that kind of friendship. At the moment, you’re both using each other to escape reality. You need more than hope and an escape. You want something real and you’re ready for it now. Focus on that.
You’re right – this is happening a lot. I’ve been getting tons of letters from readers seeking out past loves on the Internet. These people want a distraction, or they’re liner-uppers, or they’re just bored. I understand why it’s happening, but that doesn’t make it right. I wish these people would focus less on who they’re e-mailing and Facebooking, and concentrate on why they’re doing it.
Readers? Pretty, pretty readers? Should Nancy cut him off? Or is there potential for a real friendship or more? Share thoughts here. Letters to right. Chat at 1 p.m.

– Meredith