Crazy, I have to ask, how does your partner perceive his family’s behavior? I ask because it’s probably easier for him to set boundaries with his own kin. Perhaps he can help you manage their requests and attention.
Most likely, your future in-laws are just over-excited about the wedding. That’s normal. Parents of the bride and groom are often so happy about the impending union, so happy to be expanding their family, that they plan more group events, family outings … it’s a little annoying, but they mean well. One call during a weekend Valentine’s Day trip doesn’t concern me much. If it was three or four calls … well, then we’d have more to talk about.
All you can do is thank them for their suggestions and tell them you have a team of powerful women helping you plan your special day. Nod your head a lot. Know that weddings make people (even you) demanding and over-sensitive.
It may be worth working with your husband-to-be to come up with non-confrontational ways of saying “no,” “later,” and “not right now.” Saying “no” is fine, as long as you’re polite about it. But please remember that this crazy family is going to be your family, so it’s up to you to learn to accept them.
Dealing with in-laws is a learning process. You’ll get there. Consider yourself lucky that this family seems to like you and want you around. Sometimes that’s not the case …
Welcome to the family.
Readers? How should she deal with her in-laws-to-be? Share here. Read yesterday’s letter about a bad date here. Sumit your own problem here.
– Meredith