Address newsletter
Get the latest news on buying, selling, renting, home design, and more.
Valentines can see sweet savings if they share the rent. Should you live together?
ApartmentAdvisor reports that Boston renters can save a median of $17,160 for a one-bedroom crib. But relationship experts say saving money isn't a good reason to take the next step.
Boston renters can save enough money for an all-out Bora Bora honeymoon if they decide to move in with their Valentine.
But becoming roomies just to save money is “a horrible, horrible idea,” said relationship expert Monica O’Neal, who has her PsyD in clinical psychology from Harvard. ” “The concept of just moving in solely for money to save money: No,” O’Neal said. “Get a roommate.”
ApartmentAdvisor reports that Boston renters can save a median $17,160 for a one-bedroom crib and $13,920 for a two-bedroom every year if they move in with a significant other.
Advertisement:
Renters save more by moving in with a partner if they’re living in pricier cities and neighborhoods.
That’s why renters in only New York, Jersey City, and San Francisco save more than Boston residents when they split their crib with a significant other.
Someone could save a median of $24,000 annually if they split a one-bedroom in the Seaport, where the median monthly price for the apartment is greater than in any other Boston neighborhood at $4,000 per month, according to the online rental marketplace.
The savings by city or neighborhood:
| LOCATION | MEDIAN RENT 1-BEDROOM | ANNUAL SAVINGS PER PERSON | MEDIAN RENT 2-BEDROOM | ANNUAL SAVINGS PER PERSON |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Seaport | $4,000 | $24,000 | $5,441 | $15,354 |
| Downtown | $3,722 | $22,332 | $5,200 | $13,464 |
| Kendall Square | $3,657 | $21,942 | $4,607 | $16,242 |
| West End | $3,541 | $21,246 | $4,720 | $14,172 |
| South End | $3,362 | $20,172 | $4,350 | $14,244 |
| Back Bay | $3,362 | $20,172 | $4,800 | $11,544 |
| South Boston | $3,200 | $19,200 | $3,750 | $15,900 |
| Harvard Square | $3,056 | $18,336 | $3,625 | $14,922 |
| Charlestown | $3,035 | $18,210 | $3,750 | $13,920 |
| Central Square | $3,000 | $18,000 | $3,200 | $16,800 |
| Cambridge | $2,999 | $17,994 | $3,535 | $14,778 |
| Fenway | $2,933 | $17,598 | $3,600 | $13,596 |
| Beacon Hill | $2,885 | $17,310 | $3,850 | $11,520 |
| Brookline | $2,875 | $17,250 | $3,650 | $12,600 |
| Boston | $2,850 | $17,100 | $3,401 | $13,794 |
| Medford | $2,808 | $16,848 | $2,700 | $17,496 |
| Jamaica Plain | $2,800 | $16,800 | $3,050 | $15,300 |
| North End | $2,800 | $16,800 | $3,800 | $10,800 |
| Somerville | $2,780 | $16,680 | $3,200 | $14,160 |
| East Boston | $2,716 | $16,296 | $3,200 | $13,392 |
| Dorchester | $2,700 | $16,200 | $2,800 | $15,600 |
| Cambridgeport | $2,698 | $16,188 | $3,455 | $11,646 |
| Brighton | $2,500 | $15,000 | $3,000 | $12,000 |
| Mission Hill | $2,448 | $14,688 | $3,520 | $8,256 |
| Roslindale | $2,396 | $14,376 | $2,800 | $11,952 |
| West Roxbury | $2,373 | $14,238 | $2,900 | $11,076 |
| Roxbury | $2,350 | $14,100 | $2,725 | $11,850 |
| Chelsea | $2,307 | $13,842 | $2,750 | $11,184 |
| Allston | $2,300 | $13,800 | $2,995 | $9,630 |
| Winthrop | $2,288 | $13,728 | $2,900 | $10,056 |
| Revere | $2,200 | $13,200 | $2,800 | $9,600 |
| Everett | $2,150 | $12,900 | $2,592 | $10,248 |
| Malden | $2,100 | $12,600 | $2,675 | $9,150 |
| Hyde Park | $2,025 | $12,150 | $2,425 | $9,750 |
Learning about the savings may just prompt couples who are already considering finding a place together to make the decision, said Amy Mueller, ApartmentAdvisor’s vice president of marketing and communications.
Advertisement:
“It might not be the most romantic reason to decide to move in with somebody,” Mueller said. “But financially, it’s pretty compelling.”
And it seems like many Gen-Z and millennial renters are, in fact, compelled. The Thriving Center of Psychology, a mental health platform, reported in 2023 that 54% of young people who move in with a significant other cite finances as a reason.
But relationship experts who spoke to Boston.com warned that renters should hit the brakes before moving in with their significant other to save cash.
Saving money might be a bonus, but it shouldn’t be the only reason that partners move in together, said Michelle Wax, a relationship and dating expert who asked people in all 50 states how they found happiness.
More on renting
“Sometimes the financial benefits might not outweigh kind of the emotional turmoil that may come if it’s not a good match,” Wax said, “or not, you know, the right time for both people in the relationship to move in together.”
O’Neal said research indicates that renting a place with a partner just to save money or to test out the living situation can lead to divorce.
Advertisement:
“Honestly, the best reason to move in together is: You’re engaged, and you have made a clear decision that you want to have a life together,” O’Neal said. “And, that’s just science at this point. It’s not my opinion. It’s not like somebody’s grandmother’s opinion.”
After the honeymoon stage, when “everything’s amazing,” O’Neal said, reality hits, and partners start to notice each other’s differences. Moving in together can escalate this moment, she said.
Partners need to be on the same page before moving in together, Wax said, and that means talking through the prospect of marriage and having kids. O’Neal said they need to give themselves enough time to build a foundation that allows them to rely on each other but still preserves their own lifestyles.
Couples struggle with the little things when they move in together, O’Neal said, such as dividing chores and navigating financial issues. She recommended that they split household expenses based on income: If one partner makes $60,000 and another $40,000, then they’ll cover 60% and 40%, respectively.
When it came time to move in with her own partner after living alone, Wax said, they talked through their daily routines and lifestyles.
Advertisement:
And when it came to money, Wax said, they decided to split everything in half, which she says is the trend in Boston if both partners are working. If there’s a financial imbalance, though, she suggested couples have a conversation ahead of time about how to split things. She also said Boston couples who are moving into a new place should plan ahead on how they’re going to set things up, as space can be tight in the city.
If couples are really struggling and facing issues every day, O’Neal also recommended couples therapy.
“Even if you come up with solutions like a chore schedule, even if you come up with solutions for finances,” oftentimes these underlying relationship issues “will only get worse if they’re not addressed,” she said.
And cohabitation, O’Neal said, isn’t a solution to relationship issues.
“We now know that having a baby isn’t the way to save the marriage,” O’Neal said. “And so I would say, moving in together is not the way to save a relationship.”
To comment, please create a screen name in your profile
To comment, please verify your email address
Conversation
This discussion has ended. Please join elsewhere on Boston.com