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I’m in a bit of a professional dilemma after my recent marriage. While I’ve legally adopted my husband’s last name, I’m hesitant to use it in my professional life.

Elaine Varelas provides advice on navigating changing your last name after getting married.

Ask the Job Doc. Boston.com

November 7, 2024

2 minutes to read

Q. I recently got married and while I’ve changed my name legally to my husband’s last name, I really don’t want to change it professionally as I’ve made such a name for myself careerwise. Also, my boss said he’d prefer I didn’t change my name as they hired me partly as I’m an expert in my field. Any advice?

A. Congratulations on your recent nuptials. I understand not wanting to change your name professionally as you have become known under your “maiden name” as an expert in your field. This is a common dilemma for professional women, particularly those who marry later, who want to maintain their professional identity and their reputation they’ve built using their original name (even if that name might have been from a previous marriage). It’s interesting that you commented on your boss’s preference without commenting on your spouse’s preference. Does your husband feel strongly about you using his last name in the work environment or is the legal change enough?

If your husband doesn’t care and you don’t care, then there shouldn’t be any problems. Regardless of your name, you remain an expert in the field. It may take you longer to introduce everyone to your new name should you decide to change it. You can adopt a combination of all three names, including your first name, your pre marriage last name, and your new married last name, which many people choose to do. Many people do that forever. And some people do that for several years and then drop their maiden name.

Given the reality that approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce, you might consider using all three names (first name, maiden name, and married last name) for legal documents and in your local community. However, for professional purposes, you could continue to use your established professional name. This approach provides flexibility and maintains your professional identity while acknowledging your marital status in personal contexts. People you are closest to know what your name is and know what your expertise is.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to this situation; the options are as varied as individual preferences. This decision should ultimately be made by you and your husband alone. You don’t want to do anything that will hurt your career or make it harder for people to find you. It’s crucial to consider your career implications and ensure that your professional contacts can still easily find and identify you. But if this is something that’s very meaningful to your husband, you may decide that using all three names might be a good compromise and lets people know that you recently got married, which I’m sure they’d like to congratulate you on. Should you decide to have children, the name situation can become even more complicated.

Your decision should be based on individual circumstances, preferences, and any implications it may have on your career. Regardless of what you decide, it’s essential to ensure that your legal documentation is consistent across all important records and institutions.