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Should I keep my sobriety private to avoid any professional repercussions?

Elaine Varelas guides on factors to consider regarding sharing or keeping your sobriety private in a professional setting.

Ask the Job Doc. Boston.com

October 9, 2024

3 minutes to read

Q. I’ve recently marked six months sober. I’m really proud of this milestone. Should I share this with my colleagues at work? I do a fair amount of client development involving dinners and such.

A. Congratulations on your six-month milestone. This is a significant achievement to have accomplished and something to be recognized – in the right place. Hopefully, you’ve surrounded yourself with sober friends and family who can offer you continued support on this milestone and those you plan to reach in the future. My understanding of this kind of milestone in recovery is that while six months might feel like a long time to you, you’re actually considered at the beginning of your recovery journey.

While you may want to share this information with everyone, I encourage you to limit the number of people that you share this with, particularly at work. Not everyone has a good understanding of addiction and recovery unfortunately, and people can be very judgmental. You don’t need to do anything to put your recovery at risk. As your journey in recovery extends, you might discover that the need to disclose your situation to a wide audience diminishes. Specifically, you may feel less inclined to share details with work colleagues. Over time, your self-assurance in maintaining recovery is likely to stem more from within, rather than relying on external validation from coworkers.

Not drinking at work events and client development dinners is less and less of an issue these days. Many individuals have chosen to abstain from alcohol at business or work events or have opted not to drink for their overall physical and mental well-being, rather than solely because they are in recovery or managing addiction.

Laura Jacobson, a licensed clinical social worker and certified EAP consultant, and Director of Clinical Services at KGA, an employee assistance program (EAP) applauds your sobriety and suggests celebrating with the people who have supported you to this point. “These people are the resources you know will support you, as they have while you were engaged in the Herculean work you have done over the last six months. There may come a time, in the future, when speaking to select individuals at work makes sense.” Part of the suggested hesitation to go public so soon in recovery is the difficult reality of relapse. People with 10, 20 or more years of sobriety have been known to relapse, a painful fact of addiction. Jacobson advises enjoying many more anniversaries of sobriety with true supporters before sharing this information with colleagues or acquaintances.

You may find that confiding in your manager or Human Resources is something that you want to do now. I encourage you to talk to other people in recovery who have shared this information in the workplace or who opted not to do so, to see what they would recommend and what the consequences of that kind of confidential conversation might be. By sharing this information, this may lead to additional support in the workplace. Regrettably, information shared in the workplace frequently leads to a breach of confidentiality, despite the expectation that such discussions will remain private.

As far as your work client development activity, you don’t have to say, “I’m six months sober.” You can just say, “Oh, I don’t drink.” That statement is enough, and it doesn’t need any additional details or explanations. The decision to disclose your sobriety is entirely up to you, and people who have been identified as supportive should be who you talk to. One benefit of sharing your sobriety journey is that it can help keep you accountable to continue your recovery path. Another benefit of sharing your recovery story is that you might also inspire and support others in their recovery journeys. As you progress in your recovery, making decisions about whom to share your personal successes with will become easier for you.