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How can I balance my professional responsibilities and family demands this Summer without stressing out?

Elaine Varelas provides tips and creative strategies on how to balance work and kids this Summer (and Ditch the Mom Guilt)

Ask the Job Doc. Boston.com

By Elaine Varelas

3 minutes to read

Q.  With school ending soon, I’m already stressing out about summer and the kids being home. I work from home full-time and it’s a tough balancing act with my children’s activities and keeping them engaged, while setting boundaries (if my office door is shut, don’t disturb me unless there is an emergency). They do have a couple of weeks of soccer camp that will keep them busy, and we will be on vacation for a week, but otherwise the calendar is wide open. I have more Mom guilt than ever during the summertime. How can I best balance my professional responsibilities at work with the demands of my kids?

A. Mom guilt is a thing! And Dad guilt we hope – just parent guilt! (regardless of location) We don’t know exactly how old your kids are, but it’s easy to guess based on their activities. Mom guilt is powerful and spread throughout working moms, both with those who work at home and those who work outside of the home (regardless of location). Your expectations of yourself and your kids are too high. People working from home can’t expect younger children to follow a list of activities to do and then be disappointed when they are knocking at your door, attached to their phones, fighting, playing video games, or watching TV all day.

You need someone in your house who will manage the kids and their lives. Focused childcare is vital. It can be a teenager who can walk your kids to camp or drive them depending on where the camp is. You need someone who can keep them amused and occupied on a regular basis throughout the day. This babysitter should be able to ease your household burden by starting dinner and doing light household chores, such as emptying the dishwasher or throwing in a load of laundry, with the help of the kids of course.

Recognize that there may be many moms and dads who are in similar situations. Having a neighborhood meeting to talk about how you can support each other can be very helpful, but just don’t expect one babysitter to deal with some outrageous number of children. You might involve the parents of your children’s friends to take turns doing activities. You might take a day off and take them to the zoo or someplace fun, and another mom or dad will do something similar on another week during the Summer.

You could also enlist the help of neighbors who might be great volunteers. They are often willing to pitch in and if they won’t accept money, you can show your gratitude with fresh vegetables from your garden, an apple pie, or a gift card to their favorite store. When my daughter was younger, a teenage neighbor walked my daughter to camp and from camp and afterwards, she’d bring her home and hang out until I returned home from the office. Hanging out with the “Big Girl” was very cool, and I’d leave projects like making brownies or weaving bracelets.   

Keeping your “do not disturb” boundary during the summertime will allow you to focus on what you need to do during the workday. I encourage you to schedule a morning break and an afternoon snack or coffee break with your kids to check in so that they know that you’re still there and that they can access you. This is also a chance to check in with your babysitter to see if they need anything.

Yes, it’s expensive, but it will be the best money you spend in the long run in terms of your own sanity, your kid’s sanity and safety, and a productive summer. It will be worth all the money that you have to spend paying this person who can allow you to work from home just as if you were working in an office. Your professional contributions depend on this, by having the confidence that your children are safe and well cared for.

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