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I had to move cross country, but my company still expects me to visit the office several times a month, on my dime. I’m not sure how much longer I can do this.

Elaine Varelas provides guidance on having conversations with your manager and HR about adjusting in-office requirements.

Ask the Job Doc. Boston.com

December 27, 2023

3 minutes to read

Q. A few months ago, I relocated back to New England to be closer to family and my boyfriend after many years living in the Pacific Northwest. While I’ve been able to keep my job, I have to travel back and forth between MA and OR 2-3 times a month (and pay out of my own pocket) as my boss isn’t flexible with remote work. As I gave up the condo I was renting, I also have to pay friends to stay with them when I have to work there. This arrangement won’t be sustainable in the long term. I love my job and I’d be happy to visit the office a few times a year, but a few times a month has been rough, especially when there are travel delays. Do I find a new job or give my boss an ultimatum?

A. The fundamentals of employment, managers, and staff hinge on the idea that individuals who are highly valued contributors might not always be bound by the usual “rules”. When you decided to move, I’m not sure if you had a conversation with your manager about expectations regarding how frequently you were required to visit the office. The financial impact of having to travel so frequently for work is enormous, particularly if you can’t expense it. You’ll end up owing money to the company at the end of the year. Between the time and expense that it costs you to travel to the office, the toll that it takes on you to get there, it most likely won’t be worth it.

Having a documented conversation with your manager now is essential. The conversation should start with you talking about the contributions that you make and your value to the organization. The hardship comes next. Share with them the financial cost of what it takes for you to get to the office and get clarity on the reasons why you are expected to be in the office.

The conversation with your manager becomes, “I’m willing to continue working remotely, to devote myself to the success of my role, to supporting you and my colleagues, but continuing to pay rent to stay nearby and to fly X number of miles is untenable. I love my job and love the contributions that I make to the company. And I’d like to work out a more reasonable travel schedule that will meet your needs, the organization’s needs, and my needs.” Clearly this conversation would have been better before you moved, but it’s never too late.

If you don’t anticipate that this conversation will go well, you might find that you need to consult the employee handbook, and hopefully find a receptive and forward-thinking HR leader within the organization to have a conversation with. Focus on what the rules and regulations are in the employee handbook that your manager may be quoting. And ask HR if there have been other exceptions made for other employees that are high performing. Share with them the reasons why you made the move, for example, “Part of my move was to support an elderly parent”. It may turn out that you qualify for the Family and Medical Leave Act.

If HR is not helpful and your manager does not seem inclined to support you in this, you risk nothing by going over that manager’s head. If you have a more senior person that you believe would be supportive of this, your manager’s boss perhaps, take the opportunity to have that conversation with them. Because one way or another, you will not be at that organization. Either you’ll stop spending the money to fly and just say, “I can’t visit the office, but I can meet virtually.” Or you will be asked to leave the organization. Sharpen up your resume before the new year.

It’s unfortunate, but there are many managers and many organizations who haven’t recognized that requiring workers to work full time in the office is no longer a reasonable and realistic expectation for companies to have for many positions. The COVID Pandemic highlighted the feasibility of remote work for many in the workforce. Hopefully, your company will recognize what a valued employee you are and offer more flexible work solutions so that you don’t have to travel as frequently. But if they don’t, I hope that you find an even better job in 2024 that provides you with more flexibility.