Jobs

I love my job and the company I work for, but I have a horrible boss and don’t want to be unhappy at work forever.

Elaine Varelas advises on things to consider when dealing with a difficult boss at work.

Ask the Job Doc. Boston.com

June 21, 2023

3 minutes to read

Q. My boss is driving me crazy and has for over a year. They are not going anywhere, so I have to make a change NOW. How can I find a new role FAST? Is it worth taking a stepping-stone role just to land something else and then change again, or will that mess up my career? I need a change.

A. Having a boss at work drive you crazy can make both work and life in general, horrible. Dealing with a difficult boss can create numerous issues and can impact your job satisfaction, and your health. What you don’t share is the reason WHY your boss is driving you crazy. Recognize that you might also be driving your boss crazy. Getting to the core of the issue can be a challenge, but it is an extremely valuable effort. For example, is your boss driving you crazy because your boss wants you to be accountable for work that they’ve tasked you with? Are they driving you crazy because they want you to communicate more with them? Are they driving you crazy because they constantly exhibit passive aggressive behavior and talk to themselves? Do they not provide clear instructions and leave you frustrated and confused?

It will serve you well long-term to identify what behaviors your boss is demonstrating that drive you crazy. It’s also important for you to take time for self-reflection to identify the behaviors that you may be exhibiting that might be driving your boss crazy. This is not to say that you don’t have a crazy boss, because most of us can easily identify a crazy boss we have had – at least one! What you don’t want to do is risk a great career path with a move that is not well-thought-out, well- planned, and is a leap away from something as opposed to a conscious choice toward something. Recognize that there might be some risk involved by taking a sidestepping role.

Remember that you won’t be at your job forever. You may have already started a job search and are going to look for an organization and a boss that better aligns with the way you like to be managed. That may help you feel better about what your immediate future looks like. Just adding those new job search activities to your schedule may be enough of the change you need to help you see the future. Starting a job search is clearly in your best interest. Quitting and walking away entirely is always an option to improve your happiness. But that doesn’t make the most sense financially. We’ll assume you have tried to make things better but that’s not happening. Hopefully, you have tried to talk to your boss about how to get the best from you and not the worst. It’s a great conversation for everyone to have, even if they aren’t in this situation. But if it just isn’t working, take other steps that don’t hurt you.

Think about ways that you can limit the amount of negative impact that your boss is having on you. To help manage your stress, you may want to try deep breathing exercises and other stress relievers, such as taking a long walk during your lunch break or yoga after work. You might also seek support from a trusted colleague when you need a safe space to vent. Create your workday by focusing on the positive aspects of your job and try to minimize the negative aspects as much as possible. Take stock of the myriad of reasons you do love your job and your company. See if you can prevent behaviors of your boss that drive you crazy by being more prepared for meetings if that might be an issue. Recognize that you’re what would be called a short timer and that you won’t have to deal with this forever. Rather than just getting any job, invest the time and research to find the right job for you. And if it makes you feel better, you can think about how much your boss will miss you when you’re in a new position with a great boss.