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An employee’s partner dies
How does a company handle?
Q: I am a department manager for a small company. A staff member of mine recently had her partner die. It was not a spouse, but a partner. She took a week off. Two days were the wake and funeral. Then, we did not hear from her for three days. We do not have a time off policy for deaths of a partner. I don’t think we should pay her for these days. Now I am getting a lot of anger from her co-workers. What do most companies do? We are not a conglomerate or a big company. That detail is important.
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A: The loss of a loved one is difficult, whether it is a spouse or a partner. In Massachusetts (and most other states) there is no requirement to offer bereavement pay or even time off.
Most of our clients have a bereavement policy, even small companies. Most offer one day of pay for an extended family member like an uncle or a cousin. Some policies also offer a day off if an employee loses a friend or a neighbor. If the employee loses a closer family member, like a sibling, three days might be offered. If extensive travel is involved to attend services, additional days may be given as well. For a spouse or a child, many of my clients will give five days off with pay and permit an employee to return to work on a gradual basis, like working part-time or remotely for a few days. If an employee suffers the loss of an aunt, but the aunt raised the employee, flexibility in how the policy is interpreted is important. Some of our clients have given a month off when the loss is very traumatic, especially if the death was unexpected. A month of paid bereavement time off is highly unusual. I have only seen a month given when an employee tragically lost her spouse in a horrific automobile accident, and she had three young children at that time. I think her co-workers would have been outraged if she had been given just three or five days.
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Families have changed. Years ago, stepchildren or in-laws were often not included when employers were writing their policies. Today, stepchildren and in-laws are often included. The same applies to partners. Partners and spouses are typically interchangeable now. Most employers include partners in their written bereavement policy.
Re-entry to work can be a challenge. If your company offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), support and advice from your EAP could be helpful at this time.
I would suggest asking the employee how you could support them during this time. Could a flexible work schedule help for a week or so? Would using some PTO be helpful, to extend the leave? Sometimes the employee may not know the answer immediately but knowing that they have an understanding employer, who is offering options may help.
Also, most employers send an expression of sympathy to the employee at this time. A floral arrangement or a donation to a favorite charity might be considered.
Finally, it is important that the employee feel supported during this time. If other employees can assist in taking on additional responsibilities or projects during this time, that may give the employee time to grieve.
I would suggest erring on the side of generosity and paying this employee for their time off. I would suggest that you offer the same amount of time off whether the loss is a spouse or a partner. Your employee just suffered a tremendous loss. Support and understanding are key. Everyone grieves differently. It may take this person a bit of time to re-engage 100%.
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