Speak like a Bostonian

We’ll give you a warning: the phrase “Pahk your cah in Hahvahd Yahd’’ normally goes over about as well as wearing an Alex Rodriguez jersey to the local watering hole (and you can’t park there anyway). Yes, there’s an accent, but it’s hardly as pronounced as Hollywood types might have you believe. Still though, there will be a number of terms, phrases, and other references here that might have you scratching your head. Here’s a guide. Take notes.

OK, let’s get this out of the way, calling the city “Beantown’’ not only announces to the world that you’re not a local, but that you most probably hail from a zip code beginning anywhere from 100-102. Nobody in Boston calls it “Beantown,’’ nor will the majority even know where to secure a bowl of baked beans outside of Johnnie’s Foodmaster, rest its soul.

While nobody actually refers to Boston as the Hub, or the Hub of the universe, as once coined by writer Oliver Wendell Holmes, you’ll find the term in plenty of local writings and city ventures like the Hubway, Boston’s bike-sharing program. Dot is Dorchester, the Fens is the Fenway area, Southie is South Boston (not the South End) and Meffa, as plenty of 2 a.m. cab drivers will attest, is indeed Medford.

If you want a milkshake, go to Connecticut. Here, we have frappes, which is a milkshake with a scoop of ice cream floating in all its creamy glory.

Want to order a hero, hoagie, or a submarine? Nope, here we have grinders (or subs), the difference being that most – at least the properly served varieties – are prepared on either crusty or toasted bread. Hence, they are a “grind’’ to chew. On a related note, if you happen to be from Southeastern Mass. and ask for a chow mein sandwich anywhere north of Brockton, just take the inquisitive look with the satisfaction that they don’t know what they’re missing.

A water fountain is a bubbler. Turns out, that’s the proper term. Who knew?

We went out to dinner the other night, and the kids received Hoodsies as part of their meal. My son asked for a spoon in lieu of the wooden slab that came with the small ice cream cup. Yes, I’ve failed somewhat as a parent.

Because it’s far too difficult to utter four syllables, you’ll soon learn to refer to the MBTA transit system as simply The T. It won’t take much longer to become enraged when your train or bus is inevitably late at the worst possible moment.

The same rings true for the Prudential Center, which is simply known as The Pru.

Don’t get busted by a Statie for making a U-ie where the sign reads, “No U-Turn Allowed’’ or for stopping in a rotary. If you don’t learn how to navigate them, no worries. You’ll be no different.

Normally, Bostonians use the clicker to switch between Red Sox and Patriots games on Sunday afternoons. This year — well, that won’t be necessary.

Though it’s sort of a dated phrase, you’ll still hear some locals refer to tonic, and have no intent on mixing it with gin. That’s soda pop or soft drink to me and you, or if you’re a teenager, whatever 46-ounce energy drink you can get your hands on.

If you plan on throwing a kegger, better head to your local packie, or package store (liquor store) as you have once known it. If you simply want a sixer of Sam Adams, odds are you won’t find it at your local grocery store (only a handful of supermarkets in the state have liquor licenses) either, so off to the packie you go again. While there though, you can also play your numbers.

Dunks, Dunkies, or Dunkin’s, Dunkin’ Donuts remains the go-to coffee spot in town.

Bostonians refer to directional signals as directionals, or blinkers. You will also learn that 75 percent of them refuse to use them when navigating traffic on Mass. Ave.

“Wicked” means — well, whatever you want really. Wicked killer, wicked neat, or just plain ol’ wicked. Pictured is some local clam chowder because it’s wicked awesome.

It’s not just an apartment building, it’s a triple-decker.

What other terms or phrases are unique to the Boston area? Share some of your favorites.