Nine myths about Boston

Welcome to Boston. You’ve probably heard a lot about us, and we’re here to inform you that it’s all true. All of it. Well, most of it. OK, some of it. For every history lesson you’ve learned about Boston and for every urban legend you’ve been told, there’s another story lurking in reality. Here are nine Boston myths to familiarize and arm yourself with so that next time you want to look like a learned Bostonian, you’ll be in fine shape.

Unless you’re reading a New York tabloid sports section on the T, odds are that you’ll find little reference to the nickname “Beantown’’ here. While baked beans were a staple here during Colonial days, today it’s not exactly the regional culinary delight that you may have been led to believe. Lobster and seafood are really too regional to be considered “Boston’s official dish.’’ Truth is, there really is no one dish that defines Boston like the cheesesteak in Philadelphia. The Boston Cream Pie? Perhaps. But “Pie-town’’ doesn’t exactly have a ring to it. Just don’t call it “Beantown,’’ or it will be a sure sign that you’re not from here.

If you had to deal with some of the roadways and highway headaches we have for the past 15-20 years, you’d be pretty impatient too. But the truth is, Boston’s reputation of being a city with the worst drivers in America is unwarranted. In fact, Massachusetts has finished in front of New Hampshire, Rhode Island, New York, and New Jersey among Northeast cities in a GMAC Insurance survey of driver knowledge. Once we all finally learn which lane you’re supposed to be in coming south through the Tip O’Neill tunnel to stay on the Expressway, it can only mean better grades for everyone.

This probably doesn’t help the previous argument any, but really, despite what you may see on area roadways, motorists already in the rotary (not a roundabout) have the right of way. At the rotary near the JFK/UMass Red Line stop especially, you will not witness this process take place correctly.

First of all, nobody is going to know your name. Second, don’t expect the “Cheers’’ you’re used to from the popular TV sitcom when you enter the door at the Bull & Finch Pub on Beacon Hill. The interior looks nothing like Sam Malone’s bar, and we highly doubt the former, fictional Red Sox pitcher had this much merchandise for sale. Although, we’re sure the bartenders would love to hear you say, “Put it on Norm’s tab’’ … for the billionth time.

It’s not exactly impossible for you to find tickets. The box office frequently has tickets to games the same day or evening. Then, of course, there’s always the secondary ticketing market, but you’re likely to get stuck paying premium fees. You can always do the same with the scalpers on the street, but they’re illegal as opposed to the legitimate corporations. Confused? You’re not alone.

It’s actually quite clean. While it’s true that the Boston Harbor once was so dirty it became a presidential campaign issue, today it is a jewel of the city. The Boston Harbor Cleanup Project has made the harbor a safe place to play, and the Boston Harbor Islands viable places to escape from daily city life. Beaches along the harbor are beginning to reopen, and waterfront neighborhoods such as Fort Point have been revitalized. There are even swimming races in the Charles River, subject of the Standells 1966 hit “Dirty Water.’’

Historian Ray Raphael writes that the Boston Tea Party wasn’t exactly the rip-roaring time you may have been taught it was. “For a half century, Americans shunned the tale,’’ Raphael wrote in American History Magazine. According to Raphael, early Americans: “certainly did not call it a tea party. At first, they didn’t dare. Anyone who had anything to do with the event could face prosecution, or at least a lawsuit … That single act precipitated harsh retaliation from the British, which in turn led to a long and ugly war.’’

Despite what the famous dialect credence might say, you can’t, in fact, “pahk your cah in Hahvad Yahd.’’

Well, most Boston sports fans.