Hair-raising scheme

I understand Jonathan Papelbon is still considered a rookie, but one of his teammates might want to take him aside and explain the rules of making a bet before he gets himself hurt.

By now, you’ve seen Papelbon’s ghastly Mohawk, the result of a bet he WON with teammate Kevin Youkilis. The Boston closer bet Youkilis that he would open the season with 10 scoreless innings before Youks hit his fifth home run of the year while sporting a batting average of .350 or better. Well, guess who “won” Friday night? And then promptly lost Saturday morning?

These ’06 Sox are taking the “Major League” affinity to an extreme. Pedro Cerrano comparisons have already been made to free-swinging Wily Mo Pena. As good as Adam Stern’s risky catch was to end last Tuesday night’s game, you could almost hear Terry Francona barking at him, “Nice catch Stern, don’t ever [expletive] do it again.” Rene Russo was even in the broadcast booth the other night with Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy.

Now we have Papelbon’s Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn-inspired ‘do. This is the sort of haircut that almost makes men feel good about going bald.

”If you’re going to pitch that well and make bets,” Keith Foulke said, ”[you shouldn’t] pitch well and embarrass yourself.”
Indeed. This is no knock on Youkilis’ ability, but what was Papelbon thinking? Considering that David Ortiz leads the team with eight home runs and that Youkilis has just nine in his career, what would possibly cross the kid’s mind that he’d think the Red Sox first baseman would have five by now? Batting .350? Possibly. Five homers? This is like taking the over on Kansas City wins in April set at five.
Curt Schilling relayed a similar story to Chris Snow of the Globe when he was called up to the Orioles in 1988.
”I gave myself a Mohawk when I got called up,” Schilling recalled. ”I thought it was cool. [Frank Robinson] called me into his office and for 10 minutes he just stared at me. I had an earring, too. Finally he said to me, ‘You’ll never throw a pitch for me as long as you’ve got that.’ I walked out of his office, cut my hair, and took off the earring.”
Granted, the likelihood was that neither Papelbon’s nor Youkilis’ lofty ambitions would be attained. Papelbon came into the season as hyped as any young Red Sox pitcher in recent memory and has done nothing to quiet down the fervor, with eight straight saves to his record, all without allowing a run. Youkilis has allowed his bat — and glove — to live up to the immense popularity he’s groomed for himself. But in retrospect, 10 scoreless innings and .350 with five home runs, respectively, were probably considered somewhat of a stretch for both on April 1.
Yet, here we are, barreling toward the end of the first month of the season, and Papelbon’s up to 11 1/3 scoreless. He’s given up just six hits and struck out nine. Youkilis, second on the team with 21 hits, has hit just the one home run so far. What’s the bet for 20 scoreless innings? Dressing up in lacy lingerie and fire engine red pumps?
Now that this venture became so successful, perhaps we can look forward to more gambles from the obviously persuasive Youkilis. Maybe he can wager Rudy Seanez’s job on him hitting home run No. 10 before Seanez blows another game. Or bet Josh Bard a weekend escape that he’ll only commit 11 errors in the time it takes Bard to watch five passes balls skip by.
Either way, just be forewarned, if you spot Papelbon seated at a table at Foxwoods in the near future, take the open seat if there is one. You’ll go home happy.