Peyton Manning couldn’t bear to watch the Patriots’ Super Bowl comeback in this ESPYs skit
Following his departure from football in 2016, quarterback Peyton Manning tuned into this year’s Super Bowl as a retiree.
The former quarterback even threw his very first watch party, which was chronicled by a pre-recorded sketch for the the ESPY awards. While the evening started off on a high note, things slowly took a turn for the worse as the game went on.
Here’s how it all went down:
Pre-game
Wearing an apron with “Kiss the Cook” printed across the front, Manning shows off his homemade 18-layer dip consisting of ingredients like beans, cheese, bird seed, guacamole, and chocolate chips.
First quarter
With the game scoreless, the two-time Super Bowl champ is at ease while he watches the game from his couch.
“I’m just hoping for some clean, competitive football,” he said. “I don’t even have a dog in this fight.”
Second quarter
As the Falcons begin to rack up some points, Manning becomes increasingly more vibrant with his cheers: “Woo! Go Falcons! Rise up!”
Halftime
After trading in his Atlanta shirt for a “Little Monsters” tee, Manning blissfully sings along to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” during the pop star’s flashy halftime show.
“I mean, what a performer, right?” he said. “How many hits can she have?”
Third quarter
Following the Tevin Coleman touchdown reception that gave the Falcons their now infamous 28-3 lead, the 41-year-old takes a subtle jab at Patriots quarterback Tom Brady’s performance.
“This is hard to believe,” he said. “You know, it’s tough winning the Super Bowl in the twilight of your career though. Only the greats can pull it off.”
Even as New England begins to mount their comeback, Manning doesn’t appear to be flustered by the 28-9 score.
“It’s better for everybody,” he said. “At least it’s not a blowout now. People will watch the commercials during the fourth quarter. It’s better for the economy.”
Fourth quarter
With the gap narrowing, Manning’s frustrations begin to show, and he even threatens to change the channel to “House Hunters International” at one point.
By the time Julian Edelman makes his unbelievable catch, Manning is no longer seated on the couch but is, instead, testing his smoke detector with a lighter. And when James White scores the game-tying touchdown at the end of regulation, he decides it’s a good time to run the vacuum.
“I’m sorry, is this too loud? Can you not hear the game?” he asked, sardonically. “I have chores. I have chores to do.”
Overtime
As White is about break the 28-28 tie in OT, announcer Joe Buck commentates, “Toss to White. He’s in for…”
However, before he can officially broadcast that the Patriots have won the Super Bowl, Manning whips out a football and shatters the television.
Postgame
A dejected Manning bids adieu to his guests, while muttering under his breath, “Go Falcons. Nice job. Go Broncos. Go Colts.”
