Unconventional Preview: Tom Brady is back at last, so let’s allow him to reintroduce himself
In homage to the returning Patriots quarterback, this week's preview is all about him.
COMMENTARY
Welcome to Season 5, Episode 5 of Unconventional Preview, a serious-but-lighthearted, occasionally nostalgia-tinted look at the Patriots’ weekly matchup that runs right here every weekend.
A week removed from an anemic but not wholly shocking 16-0 loss to the Bills, the 3-1 Patriots head to Cleveland Sunday to take on the 0-4 Browns, who …
All right, stop! Collaborate and listen!
On this very special occasion — yeah, you know why — we’ve got no choice but to break the glass and go with the rare FORMAT AUDIBLE!
As you may know, this is the point in the program where I’d usually tell Gostkowski to kick it off, then transition into a meandering assessment of three players important to the game who are not named Tom Brady.
I do this for what I think should be an obvious reason: Brady is the easiest subject in Boston sports to write about, whether it’s his football performance (superlative for a decade and a half), his personal life (dude has it all), or his Facebook page (he should splurge for a decent graphic designer).
But I’ve always figured it would get redundant in a hurry if I wrote about him every single week in this space. So I’ve tried to resist unless there was something especially interesting and distinctive going on with Brady beyond his usual kick-butt quarterback, beautiful-world norm. (No, Deflategate did not qualify as interesting. But it sure as hell was redundant.)
This week is different. This cannot be a conventional Unconventional Preview, because Sunday is not a conventional Patriots game. Brady returns from his four-game suspension/railroading, and while the time passed quickly for us in his absence — it was fun and beneficial to watch Garoppolo and Brissett, and a 3-1 record shouldn’t warrant a complaint — it’s going to feel like a freakin’ holiday to see him back out there again.
The least we can do as Brady is finally allowed to introduce himself is to pay the occasion proper homage. We do that by — you got it — a format audible, specifically to a few Brady-centric questions
How well can we expect him to play?
There has to be some rust, right? He hasn’t thrown a pass with real purpose and meaning since his incompletion to Julian Edelman (gah, Gronk was so open) on a two-point conversion attempt in the AFC Championship Game loss in Denver. That was on January 24. He did get a few throws in — 35 to be exact — during preseason action, despite the silly caterwauling of the Garoppolo Needs Reps! crowd. (Garoppolo was just fine. Man, was that kid properly prepared.)
That limited action for Brady is better than having no action in the last nine months, but you do have to wonder whether his timing will be sharp immediately, or if he’ll be so amped up early that he overshoots a cutting Edelman or an open Gronk. But the Patriots basically played without a conventional quarterback last week, due the Bills’ recognition that Jacoby Brissett, noble though he was, was both injured and painfully raw. The Patriots are replacing him with arguably the greatest quarterback of all time. Even if he is temporarily rusty, Brady-for-Brissett has to be the greatest in-season positional upgrade in NFL history, doesn’t it?
Also, with Brady running the show, the Patriots’ offense should finally start looking like the scoring machine we are used to seeing around here. Rob Gronkowski, who has one catch this season while making gradual progress after suffering a hamstring injury in camp, should quintuple that total at a minimum Sunday. LeGarrette Blount has been a workhorse in Brady’s absence; now the Patriots should be able to use him in a more selective and efficient role.
We’ll start to see the best from Julian Edelman (provided his foot is OK) and Danny Amendola, and it’s going to be fascinating to see if Brady and Malcolm Mitchell, who has shown some intriguing flashes in a David Givens sort of way, connect immediately.
This is the Patriots’ offense we’ve been waiting for, and yeah, I think we’re safe in presuming they won’t be shut out for a second straight week.
Will Brady be on a vengeance tour?
If I had a grievance of the week this week, this might be it. No, Brady will not be on a vengeance tour, because that thinking leaves out a crucial piece of information that is a significant part of his NFL origin story: His entire career has been a vengeance tour! You know the details — had to battle hotshot Drew Henson for playing time at Michigan, drafted in the sixth round after six other quarterbacks …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHJMfF-3FD0
… all of whom he can still name, started out as the fourth-stringer on the depth chart, fought for every success big and small he has had in his football career. Sixteen seasons into the greatest career a quarterback could imagine, his fuel tank remains full when it comes to those who have overlooked, doubted, or screwed him over.
Brady’s will to win has always been turned up to 10. He can’t take it to 11 (or, appropriate though it would be, 12). He wants to crush ‘em all, sure, and the Browns are unfortunate in that they will be cast in the role of the overwhelmed reminder of Brady’s gridiron viciousness Sunday. But Brady always wants to crush ‘em all. This is nothing new.
Besides, his actual vengeance isn’t going to come against the Browns or Steelers or Bengals or anyone else coming up on the schedule. If all goes according to plan, that will come February 5 in Houston, when the Patriots win their fifth Super Bowl and Goodell has to hand over the Lombardi Trophy to someone who would be wholly justified in bludgeoning him with it. You have to admit that would make for an interesting postgame show.
Speaking of the ginger devil, will Goodell be in Cleveland to welcome Brady back?
No. He’s spending Sunday in his lair, trying to figure out a way to suspend Donald Trump now that he’s seen the video.
Prediction, or this will be a triumphant return, right?
You know, the Browns might be winless, but they aren’t terrible. Running backs Isaiah Crowell and Duke Johnson are both averaging over 6 yard per carry and Cleveland leads the league in rushing yards per game (149.2). Terrell Pryor has 290 receiving yards and, as a converted quarterback with fleet feet is a genuine triple-threat. They’ve scored at least 20 points each of the last three weeks (hey, the Patriots can’t say that).
The defense, however, has been poor even by Browns standards. They have allowed the sixth-most points in the league (28.5 per game) and the 10th-most yards (378 per game). While Joe Haden is one of the league’s better cornerbacks, Brady should have little trouble picking apart the Browns and doing his thing. How sweet it will be to see that again. Patriots 38, Browns 13.
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