30 thoughts for 30 Tom Brady playoff games
COMMENTARY
1) What if I told you that Saturday afternoon will mark the 30th start of Tom Brady’s playoff career?
First you might wonder if that’s a record, and in fact yes — it is. Brady’s 30 playoff starts are the most in NFL history. They’re five more than Peyton Manning (who will start No. 25 on Sunday) and they’re as many as Troy Aikman, Steve Young and Michael Bishop combined. Brady also owns the record for most career playoff wins (21), and the third-highest winning percentage (.724) among QBs with at least 15 starts. He’s also the all-time leader in playoff touchdown passes (53) and passing yards (7,345).
The point here is that when you consider all this information — plus the four Super Bowl rings, plus the fact that he’s third all-time in regular season touchdown passes, and fifth in passing yards, and 55th in interceptions — there’s just no doubt that Tom Brady is the best quarterback in NFL history.
2) You can make arguments for a few other guys if you’d like, but those arguments are wrong.
3) You can also argue that, “Oh yeah, sure, he’s the best quarterback in NFL history . . . and the best CHEATER!’’ and that’s fine, but just understand that no one likes you. Literally no one.
Not even your dog.
And he likes the taste of his own vomit.
4) OK, so history and superlatives are fun. Tom Brady’s a Hall of Famer – yeah! That stuff makes for solid content and NARRATIVE, and it’s a great way to fill airtime. But when it comes to actually winning playoff games, Brady’s legacy and experience are like two light blankets on an Arctic camping trip. They’ll make it a little easier, but he’s not surviving on that alone. That Brady shine and swagger only holds up as long he backs it up.
5) To put it another way: The psychological effect that Brady’s presence has on opposing defenses is more a product of what he still is than the cumulative result of what he’s been for the last 15 years.
6) That’s because Tom Brady, today, at 38 years old, is not only the best quarterback of all time, he’s the best quarterback of this particular time. He’s the best quarterback in the NFL.
Sure, Cam Newton is doing special things, but his dominance almost transcends the position. Even so, if you had to choose one guy right now to stand in the pocket and pick apart a defense with your season on the line . . . you’re going with Brady. At least I’m going with Brady. This year he led the NFL in both touchdown passes and interception percentage. That’s only been done twice in the last 35 years.
First by Steve Young in 1992, and then by Tom Brady in 2010.
7) Just to put a little more emphasis on what was accomplished here: Brady led the NFL in touchdown passes and interception percentage this season — something that’s only been done twice since 1980 — DESPITE a nonexistent rushing attack, losing his best wide receiver for the final seven games, withstanding a stretch where his most reliable receiver was named Keshawn Martin and one game when the longest pass of the day was a completion to Tom Brady.
8) One record Brady can’t break this season? Oldest Quarterback to Win a Super Bowl. If the Pats repeat, he’ll be 36 days younger than John Elway in 1998.
But maybe there’s consolation in becoming the oldest QB to win a Super Bowl without a 2000-yard rusher.
9) TRIVIA: In 14 years with Tom Brady under center, how many times have the Patriots had a running back rush for 1000 yards in a season?
***
Answer: Four.
Antowain Smith did it in 2001. Corey Dillon set a franchise record (1,635) in 2004. The Law Firm barely made it with 1008 yards in 2010. Finally, Stevan Ridley did it most recently in 2012.
But that’s it. Four times in 14 seasons.
Meanwhile Peyton Manning played alongside nine 1000-yard rushers in 14 seasons with the Colts.
9) This year it’s more of the same for Brady but on an entirely new level of desperation. Thanks to LeGarrette Blount’s injury the Pats head into the postseason with Brandon Bolden as their leading active rusher.
Bolden ran for 207 yards this season.
James White is second on that list with 56 yards.
And third?
That would be Tom Brady with 51.
10) So it’s up to Brady to carry the offense yet again. What else is new, right?
I say that like it’s a bad thing. Like it’s a problem. Like there’s an actual, non-idiotic reason to argue with the way Bill Belichick has constructed this team year after year. But regardless, even at this ripe old age, there’s no such thing as too much Tom Brady. Last postseason he set career playoff highs in pass attempts, yards and touchdowns, and that seemed worked out OK.
11) Now before we pretend that Brady really has to do everything by himself, let’s remember that this Patriots defense is really good. From top to bottom it’s the best defense that Brady’s had in a long time. It’s the first time since that undefeated regular season that he’s played with a defense that finished in the top 10 in both points and yards against. And that’s while they were juggling a nonstop carousel of random injuries. But now they’re healthy. Healthier than they’ve been all year, with two capable safeties, two very solid corners, at least four uniquely talented linebackers and a defensive line that helped post the second highest sack total in the NFL.
That’s not bad.
12) But for all that Brady brings to the table, and as good as the defense is, expectations are somewhat tempered in New England. Obviously not that much. Strap the entire region to a polygraph and most folks will cop to still believing in this team. Who else are you going to believe in in the AFC? But at the same time, there’s less bravado than usual. Things are a little tenser. And that’s not only because of the bye week circus but also because of the late season horror show. The four losses in the last six games — three of them to teams not in the playoffs. The hell is going on?
Of course it’s just as likely that the Pats take the field on Saturday and immediately start clicking like it’s Week 3 against the Jaguars. But for now, in this painful playoff waiting room, the unimpressive stank of the last six games still stings the nostrils.
13) You know what else is unimpressive? That Tom Brady’s never had a coffee. Every one is freaking out, but really, what does Tom Brady need coffee for?
Why do you need coffee?
Because you’re run down? Overwhelmed? Short on time? In need of something to help physically and mentally cope with life’s unwanted realties? That’s why I drink it. It’s a drug. And Brady doesn’t need drugs. (But if he’s interested I know where he can find some killer synthetic pot)
14) Also unimpressive: Brady’s crazy diet. You read about it this week, with the no sugar or gluten or dairy or caffeine or peppers or mushrooms or tomatoes — it’s absolutely insane. The diet itself is. But the fact that Brady lives by it makes sense because he loves playing football. He knows he only has a few years left. It doesn’t hurt that his wife’s into it too, but he’ll do anything to keep playing. You could tell him: “OK, Tommy. Now all you have to do is eat a bowl of rocks and goat feces every morning nd you’ll feel better and play longer than ever.’’
He’d be online shopping for goat beds before you finished the sentence.
15) These days healthy and crazy pretty much go hand and hand with Brady, and that’s because of his relationship with trainer Alex Guerrero — who will at some point get Brady into trouble. That’s just a fact. And for everyone’s sake let’s hope it doesn’t happen until his playing days are over. But it will happen. Guerrero’s up to no good. I’ll be shocked if Alex Guerrero’s even his real name.
Tom Brady after leading the Patriots to victory in Super Bowl XXXVI.
16) The main, worst-case scenario Guerrero concern would something like HGH. And not from a fan perspective because who cares? Would you think that much differently of Tom Brady if you found out that he was one of damn near every NFL player that took something illegal during his career? When you think about Rodney Harrison, does the fact that he was actually suspended for HGH even creep into your mind? Now obviously Harrison and Brady are different beasts, and you know how the national media would handle Brady’s story, but the point is that it’s high time for Pats fans to ban together and go Saving Silverman on the Brady/Guerrero relationship.
17) Speaking of HGH, where do you stand on Sunday’s Steelers/Broncos? Do you root for a Steelers upset and a potential AFC Championship game in Foxboro, or a Denver win and the potential for one more Brady/Manning showdown?
Which one do you think Tom would prefer?
You figure the Pats would be favored by at least five points against the Steelers, and maybe open as a two-point underdog in Denver, so maybe that’s an easy answer. But it’s not.
18) TRIVIA: You already know that Brady’s thrown an NFL record 53 playoff touchdowns, but now here’s the question: Which player has been on the receiving of the most Brady playoff touchdowns?
***
Answer: David Givens, with seven.
Rob Gronkowski’s second with six.
Also if you’re wondering what David Givens up to these days, I looked him up on Facebook and apparently he’s now a middle-aged white motorcycle enthusiast from Burbank, Calif.
19) You’ve probably seen it, but this Wall Street Journal story about Brady and his maniacal games of catch is worth your time.
20) You want to know why Bill Belichick will never play catch with Brady again? Just take a look at his left eye.
21) OK, all jokes aside, and not to take the spotlight away from Brady, but there are truly only three ways that Bill Belichick could’ve acquired his mysterious black eye:
a) He nodded off after a marathon film session and slammed his eye into the rim of his Diet Coke can.
b) He was using a telescope to watch video off an aerospace drone that’s hovering over the Chiefs practice facility when an errant football smashed his faced into the eyepiece.
c) He owed IK Enemkpali $600 for a plane ticket.
22) Remember Tom Brady’s high ankle sprain? After that Miami game you would’ve thought that Brady’s ankle would be the center of obsession and probably have its own Twitter account with 10,000 followers by now. Instead Brady’s a full participant in practice, and Chandler Jones is praying shirtless in front of police departments, and Bill Belichick’s hosting a Fight Club in the Gillette Stadium basement, and Brady’s ankle is lost in the shuffle.
23) Do you think “Social Media Director’’ is a full-time job at Brady Inc.? Is there one guy who sits around all day thinking up those gimmicks and memes and whatever else is going on there? Do you think he gets a playoff bonus? And the most important question of all: Do you think Giselle thinks Brady’s Facebook posts are funny?
My guess: She laughs but she’s just being nice.
24) TRIVIA: Who caught Brady’s first playoff touchdown pass?
***
Answer: David Patten, in the back corner of the end zone, in the second quarter of Super Bowl XXXVI.
This caught me by surprise. This means Brady only threw one touchdown pass during that entire first Super Bowl run. (Although he also ran for a touchdown, and then spiked it, and then face planted into the snow.)
25) So after throwing only one touchdown in that first trip to the playoffs, Brady threw 10 last year. That was three against Baltimore, then three against the Colts and then four in the Super Bowl. Those three games consecutive game tie him with Bernie Kosar, Aaron Rodgers, Kurt Warner and Joe Flacco for most consecutive playoff games throwing three or more touchdowns.
26) And three more touchdown passes would be great — as long as there’s safety squeezed somewhere in between.
27) Anyone else have a sneaky suspicion that Donald Trump finds his way to the game on Saturday? Like would you be completely shocked if the cameras pan up to Kraft’s box to reveal Donald Trump picking his nose in a Brady jersey? The New Hampshire primary is less than a month away.
28) On the topic of crooked multimillionaire’s there’s nothing more exciting at this moment than the thought of Roger Goodell handing Tom Brady another Lombardi Trophy next month in Santa Clara. You know that it’s on Brady’s mind, too. You know he’s had that podium conversation with Goodell a million times in the shower or while he’s trying to fall asleep or if Gisele’s telling a boring story. And you know that no one in the world is rooting harder against the Patriots this postseason than Goodell. That Lombardi presentation is his worst nightmare, and for Brady nothing could be sweeter.
29) Well, maybe one thing.
Levi Stadium is less than 25 miles from Brady’s high school.
Talk about coming full circle. Talk about a home game.
Give Sheldon Richardson some weed, a loaded gun and an underage passenger and he’ll have you there in 10 minutes.
30) OK, let’s wrap this up by forgetting about 10 minutes. Let’s bring it down to two minutes because you know at some point it will come down to that. We’re talking two minutes on the clock. The Pats have the ball. Maybe they’re up a score, or down a score; in position to ignite a comeback or put the Chiefs away. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
But the one thing we know for sure will be the guy under center.
The same one who’s been there time after time for 15 years and now 30 playoff games.
The best quarterback alive.
The best who ever lived.
Tom Brady’s career timeline
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