The Patriots’ vengeance tour now goes on hiatus after rout of Jaguars — but it has only just begun
COMMENTARY
So here we are, three perfect weeks into a Patriots season that could not get here soon enough, and you’re telling me now the Tom Brady Vengeance Tour 2015 has to go on hiatus?
Why, that’s no good. When next Sunday comes around, what are we going to do around here without watching the Patriots’ systematic obliteration of the unfortunate squad the NFL schedule-makers assigned to the doomed task on that given day?
The NFL helmets are labeled with the brand Riddell, but the way the Patriots have been treating all comers so far – Sunday’s 51-17 thrashing of the Jacksonville Jaguars was as effortless as it was lopsided – they might as well read Goodell. Three games so far, and three Patriots opponents have paid mightily to some degree for the sins of the commissioner.
No, the Patriots don’t need a break from doing this. And we sure don’t need a break from watching it. Vengeance is theirs on the field, and transiently, ours on the couch. We can’t get enough.
I suppose a break at any point during the NFL schedule is a welcome one given the legalized physical assaults the players endure each week. But the Patriots are, for the most part, healthy, and recovering from injury is the most appealing reason for a bye. They are playing in the early season as if they are already in midseason form, a remarkable tribute to their preparedness and ability to shut out distractions given Brady’s occasional detours to a courtroom in New York during training camp.
Brady can let whatever bruises and minor scrapes he’s accumulated through 3/16ths of the schedule heal. Maybe he can even splurge on an extra avocado ice cream next weekend. But I suspect strongly that the quarterback would just as soon keep this crazy train rolling. You know he wishes they had a game next weekend, though for some reason he isn’t about to admit it. He was asked during his postgame press conference whether he wishes the Patriots had a game next week considering how well the offense is playing.
“I think you just take them whenever they are, and I think we had a good three weeks,’’ said Brady. “After this week, we have a long stretch ahead, so [we] just try to take advantage of it and use the time, as we always do, to evaluate where we’re at and try to get ahead on some things and try to get ready for a team like Dallas that we haven’t played in a long time.’’
That’s all true, in an empty-platitude sort of way. It’s far from the whole truth, not to mention further proof that Brady rarely offers much more candor than Belichick during these gatherings. He just smiles and looks wicked handsomer than the coach when he’s dodging the media rush. The most honest answer – one we must imagine rather than transcribe — might go something like this:
“Are you kidding? Do I want the bye week now? I didn’t even know until a couple of weeks ago whether I’d be allowed to play these games because of that doofus Goodell’s petty, favor-currying witch hunt. I didn’t know if I’d be allowed to play. Do you know how much that killed me? I thought I might miss a quarter of the season because of slightly deflated footballs, something I had nothing to do with. I’ve always savored every game, but I’m savoring them more than ever now. Do I want the bye week now? Are you kidding? That’s like asking if I plan to reunite with Tara Reid. I never want a bye week again.’’
If there’s a word that captures the combination of irony and karma, I’m missing it right now, but it’s impossible not to be amused at how this season is shaking out for some of the Patriots’ chief nemeses. The Ravens and Colts – alleged anti-Patriots co-conspirators who were believed to be challengers for AFC supremacy this season – are a combined 1-5. The Patriots don’t need a bye now. The Ravens and Colts sure do. Actually, what they really need is a restart button.
The Patriots must take their break when mandated, though, and at least they’re heading into it in a remarkably good spot. Brady and the offense are playing so well that Ryan Allen’s left foot got the entire afternoon off against the Jaguars. (Conversely, the Bears punted 10 times against the Seahawks.)
The Patriots dropped 51 points on the Jaguars without a touchdown from Julian Edelman or Rob Gronkowski. Keshawn Martin did score one, as did Dion Lewis, two players whose names were unfamiliar to many Patriots fans before the season began. The Patriots offense is a machine – and amazingly, one that is still being fiddled with by its mechanics for perfect assembly.
The Patriots have 117 points through three games, the most in franchise history through such a span. That’s three more points than they had through three games during the record-setting 2007 season, the last time they rampaged through the schedule after having their credentials and authenticity questioned by a petty gate-suffixed scandal.
It should be noted that during that regular season eight years ago, the offensive pinnacle was not reached the inaugural three games (they scored 38 points in all three), but a stretch during Weeks 6-8 when they averaged 49.6 ppg in wins over the Cowboys (48-27), Dolphins (49-28), and Redskins (52-7).
That may well be the most breathtaking three-week stretch of football by a single offense in league history. I’m not sure this more measured 2015 offense is capable of achieving that. Then again, with two weeks off before their next game, who knows what wrinkles they will come up with. The Vengeance Tour may be on hiatus. But it has only just begun.
Photos: Patriots throttle Jaguars, 51-17
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