It’s a good thing Tom Brady throws better than he dances
Now this is “conduct detrimental to the league.’’
After he received his fourth ring with his lovely wife in tow, Tom Brady was probably feeling on top of the world.
And why wouldn’t he? He’s got a beautiful spouse, great kids, millions in the bank and tons of adoring fans. With life looking so rosy, even in the face of a possible suspension, he probably felt like celebrating.
So he took to the dance floor.
And that’s where the problems began.
First, he took to the floor a few feet from rapper Wiz Khalifa and did…something to a song by Migos.
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[fragment number=1]The first problem is that Wiz Khalifa is a walking bong and shouldn’t be allowed within a mile of any franchise player not named Bill Walton (who invited him? My money’s on LaGarrette).
Next, Tom’s got to go back to the drawing board on his flexing. He’s got the steps down (jump in place, point to things, move arms and shoulders, snap!) but the execution is less Manolo Rose and more Kardashian Klan.
You can put the blame on TB12’s shoulders if you’d like, but someone else is responsible. Immediately to his left, Brandon Bolden is in the groove. He’s clearly got it. Why is he letting Tom embarrass himself? Friends don’t let friends do… whatever it is Brady’s doing.
But the dances don’t end there. They get into some Fetty Wap next, and Brady, though he’s managed to slip into the background (probably to conceal whatever foolishness he’s doing with his hands), but he just can’t stop jumping.
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Gronk is going all out in typical Gronk fashion. Garoppolo is noticably calm, and Chandler and Chung are doing fine. Brady, far removed from the turnup epicenter as he is, has got to stop bouncing.
He may snatch victory from the jaws of defeat on the gridiron, but on the the dancefloor, he’s a mere mortal.
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