Top Five Perfect (Terrible) QBs for Rex Ryan’s Bills
The Buffalo Bills need a quarterback, and with their first round pick in Cleveland’s possession thanks to the Sammy Watkins trade, the options are looking bleak in Buffalo.
New head coach Rex Ryan is no stranger to bad quarterback play. In his six seasons with the Jets, Ryan’s quarterbacks threw 97 touchdown passes and 106 interceptions.
As it stands now, 2013 first round pick E.J. Manuel is the only quarterback the Bills have, and the organization thought so highly of him that it signed Kyle Orton out of retirement to take his spot just 14 starts into his career. There are conflicting reports about the Bills’ attempting to trade for 2009 top overall draft pick Sam Bradford, who is probably the best case scenario if he stays healthy.
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If a trade for Bradford or another QB like Nick Foles or Kirk Cousins doesn’t come to fruition, the Bills will be forced to bring in a free agent to compete with Manuel. We scoured the underwhelming crop of free agent quarterbacks and found plenty that fit the Rex Ryan mold. Here are five of our favorites
5. Brian Hoyer/Ryan Mallett
The NFL quarterback carousel spins around year after year, and the Patriots get to keep Tom Brady while everyone else tries to find their own superstar. Former Brady backups have gone elsewhere and failed – Hoyer in Cleveland, Mallett in Houston – but that might not be enough to deter Rex from trying to take down Belichick with a QB with Patriots’ roots.
4. Dan Orlovsky
Dan Orlovsky’s NFL tale is one of overcoming adversity and never giving up. He started seven games for the Lions in 2008, and Detroit became the first (and only) team to finish 0-16 for the entire season. Orlovsky became the poster child for that Lions season when he foolishly gave up a safety in Minnesota.
Orlovsky didn’t start another game until 2011, when the 0-11 Colts turned to him in Week 13 against the Patriots. The Colts lost that game, but Orlovsky led them to a pair of wins in their last 4 games, finishing 2-14 and avoiding a seat next to the 2008 Lions among the worst teams ever.
At this rate, Orlovsky’s next team is sure to win at least 4 games, which would equal Rex’s output from 2014 with the Jets. Signing Orlovsky almost makes too much sense for the Bills to do it.
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3. Blaine Gabbert
The 10th overall selection in the 2011 NFL Draft by the Jaguars, Gabbert is one of the biggest quarterback flops in recent history. He’s completed just 53% of his career throws, averaged a paltry 5.6 yards per attempt, and thrown 23 touchdowns to 24 interceptions for his career.
Gabbert is a great fit for Rex Ryan’s team. Coaches have been trying to talk people into Gabbert-mania for years. No coach is as good as Rex Ryan is at trying to convince everyone that his quarterback isn’t playing poorly. Plus, Blaine is a Real American (warning: some NSFW language)
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2. Any of the McCown Brothers
The Bills had Josh McCown in for a visit, but elected not to sign the journeyman (at least for now). The 35-year old made 11 starts for the Buccaneers last season. His brother Luke spent a decade in the league and threw 98 career passes, but the 33-year-old was out of the NFL in 2014. Then there’s the eldest McCown brother, 38-year old Randy, a college quarterback at Texas A&M who never made it to the NFL.
The McCowns are the clearance aisle version of the Mannings, but it’d be a shame if none of them ever suited up and brought their talents to Rex Ryan’s offense. Better yet, the Bills could sign all three of them and have the most interesting quarterback competition in the league.
1. Mark Sanchez
Six playoff games, including back-to-back AFC championship Game appearances. 36 interceptions over a two-year phase where it all fell apart. One glorious tattoo. The numbers don’t lie: Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez are meant for each other.
There is no Mark Sanchez without Rex Ryan, and vice-versa. They complete each other. When Sanchez left New York prior to the 2014 season, both he and the Jets got way less interesting. It’s just not the same without them together. When Sanchez and Ryan are together, it’s the best of times, and it’s the worst of times. It was upsetting the Patriots in the 2010 AFC Divisional Round, and it was the buttfumble game on Thanksgiving two seasons later. It’s a tale of two cities: New York…and Buffalo.
Mark Sanchez needs to sign with the Bills this offseason. Anything else is unacceptable.
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