Sure, They’ll Hit, But What Else in God’s Name Should We Expect From These Red Sox?

The truck has departed, a caravan filled with the hopes and dreams of Red Sox fans everywhere, bound for the Floridian utopia of Fort Myers, where the sun is shining and the strip malls aren’t subject to the same eminent domain of snow as the big rig’s town of departure.

It’s also carrying a lot of gum.

The 1,480-mile (nearly one mile for every David Ortiz career run batted in) journey is on to JetBlue Park, where a handful of Red Sox players have already been working out for the better part of week in preparation for the 2015 season, one which, if the pattern stays true to form, will result in a World Series title following last year’s last-place finish.

Nobody really thinks that’s going to happen. But then again, nobody really thinks it might not happen either.

If two years ago taught us anything, it was that summiting baseball’s peak isn’t as difficult as most of us were led to believe over a period of 86 years. All it took was a decent starting staff, backed by a pair of veteran postseason stalwarts, a dominant closer that just so happened to be “Option D,” and a lineup that mattered little except that it still had an ageless Ortiz in the middle of it. Mix in a city-wide tragedy as something to rally around, and you had the magic ingredients for a surprise World Series run.

Fluke? You bet.

Able to be duplicated? Well…

It’s difficult for anyone to look at these 2015 Red Sox and declare that they’ll be more like the 2014 version than the one that paraded down city streets with a trophy in tow. Even with the seeming decline of Dustin Pedroia. Even with a 40-year-old closer. Even with a starting staff that, as currently constituted, boasts Clay Buchholz as its ace.

We all know that’s not the case, but Buchholz (8-11, 5.34 ERA in 2014), I guess, assumes the role based on nothing more than service time, joined in the rotation by holdover Joe Kelly (4-2, 4.11 ERA over 10 starts after the trade that sent John Lackey to the St. Louis Cardinals), along with newcomers Rick Porcello (15-13, 3.43 ERA last year, and a No. 2 starter ready-in-waiting for a team lacking a No. 1) and Wade Miley (8-12, 4.34 with gluten-free Arizona). Old friend Justin Masterson (7-9, 5.88) figures to bring up the rear, until his eventual, logical place in the bullpen opens up.

That’s a ‘pen anchored, by the way, by 40-year-old Koji Uehara who signed a two-year deal in the offseason. It’s also one lacking nails lefty Andrew Miller, whom the Red Sox traded to Baltimore last summer, then allowed to waltz to the Yankees for four years and $32 million. Ben Cherington said farewell to Yoenis Cespedes in order to acquire Porcello from Detroit, the team infamously lost out on Jon Lester (who cashed in big time with the Chicago Cubs), refused to go after James Shields (who it turns out, didn’t with the San Diego Padres after possibly holding out too long), and signed sluggers Pablo Sandoval and Hanley Ramirez to contracts that signaled a certain potential of slugging out wins as the Sox seek to vacate the basement of the American League East.

With the additions of Ramirez and Sandoval, not to mention a full season of Cuban free agent Rusney Castillo, the Red Sox may have put together the best lineup in their division, no small feat considering Boston scored only 634 runs last season, more than the New York Yankees and Tampa Bay Rays, but far fewer than either the Toronto Blue Jays or division-winning Baltimore Orioles.

Unless John Farrell brings out his Terry Francona veteran card, Mookie Betts should lead off and start in right over Shane Victorino, followed by some combination of Pedroia, Ortiz, Mike Napoli, Ramirez, Sandoval, Xander Bogaerts, Castillo, and Christian Vazquez.

That’s actually a potentially fascinating lineup to watch.

It’s also one akin to parking a yacht in downtown Boston. It’s nice to look at, but ultimately, it’s not getting you anywhere.

Nobody’s buying this product as presently constituted during spring training and speaking of World Series aspirations. All the Red Sox are right now is a team that can likely compete for its weak division against the Orioles and Rays, who both got worse over the winter, the Yankees, who got negligibly better, and the Blue Jays, who have been just on the cusp of returning to greatness since 1997.

Maybe Porcello is the second coming of Greg Madddux, maybe Kelly can repeat his 2013 season (10-5, 2.69 ERA), maybe Miley becomes a modern day Derek Lowe, grounding out batters to death, and maybe Buchholz gets his head out of the clouds and realizes that he’s 31 years old and possibly playing for a contract in 2016 (the Red Sox hold a $13 million option for next season).

That’s a hell of a lot of “maybe’s.” And we’re just getting started.

But general manager Ben Cherington is also at a crossroads here too, needing to land an ace that will give his team a legitimate shot at playing into October, but, especially the farm guy that he is, unwilling to surrender the likes of Blake Swihart for the uncertainty and price tag of a guy like Cole Hamels. Or is Henry Owens ready to take on a big league starting role at the age of 22?

Whether he is or not, that doesn’t solve the problem. The Red Sox lack that “guy,” the no-brainer hurler that you have utmost – or at least a semblance of it – confidence in, whether it’s starting Game 1 of a playoff series, or simply looking to end a losing skid.

Is that Hamels either? Jordan Zimmerman?

The bet here is that the role eventually lands on the shoulders of the 26-year-old Porcello, whose emergence as a No. 1 starter could be as easy as escaping the shadows of Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander in Detroit. Maybe.

Nothing is certain at the dawn of any spring training, but for sure, in 2015, we don’t know what the hell we should even begin to expect with these Red Sox, who approached the offseason as if they were going to give the house a new coat of paint, then promptly fell asleep somewhere when it was time to do the trimwork.

They may be an offensive-heavy conundrum, but that might just be good enough. Put Lester at the head though, and September relevancy becomes October in an instant. Until they get something similar, this team is just treading the waters of competency.