Joe Mazzulla and the Celtics coaches beat our media team by 53 points, and it was an absolute blast
It was media vs. the Celtics coaches at the Auerbach Center, and the game went about how you would expect.
COMMENTARY
I thought Joe Mazzulla was joking.
At the end of his press conference Tuesday afternoon, Mazzulla announced that he was putting a twist on the Celtics media’s pick up basketball game.
Usually, we play against each other. It’s a cool opportunity for us to experience a slice of the glory that Celtics players experience almost every day, running up and down the floor at the Auerbach Center and getting a few shots up with the Celtics’ championship banners hanging over our heads.
But, this was not a normal Tuesday at work. The Celtics coach had a different matchup in mind.
“I don’t want to break it to to you,” Mazzulla said. “But, you’re not playing against each other. You’re playing against the coaches.”
Mazzulla looked around at us and walked off with a straight face. Not even a hint of a smirk. His face should have told me that he was serious, but it seemed laughable that he would even think to do something like this.
Not only was it a surprise, it was also a severely lopsided matchup in terms of talent.
Celtics assistant Amile Jefferson is a former McDonald’s All-American who played at Duke with Jayson Tatum. Maine Celtics coach Phil Pressey is a former Celtics point guard. God Shammgod Jr. is the son of the legendary God Shammgod. Mazzulla once helped West Virginia reach its first Final Four since 1959.
It was a collection of former NBA players and high DI-level athletes in their thirties against an average group of sportswriters.
Needless to say, the results were about what you would expect in such a matchup. Mazzulla, being the savvy coach/point guard that he is, knew that we couldn’t handle a full-court press.
Our media team had decent size. I’m 6-foot-6, and Boston Sports Journal’s John Karalis is around my height. CLNS Media’s Bobby Manning is lanky and always plays with energy on the glass. The Athletic’s Jay King is also a really good player, one of the best in our little Boston media bubble, because of his outside shooting ability.
But, we were no match for the speed and length of the coaches. They swarmed us and jumped out to a 22-0 lead. It was like watching a pee-wee team that couldn’t get the ball over half court. They made steal after steal, leading to easy looks down low and from 3-point range. Mazzulla was leading the charge, hounding our guards and being vocal about how he wanted this game to be a shutout.
It almost happened. The coaches beat us 57-4, and our two baskets came through a mix of hustle and luck. Forbes contributor Bobby Krivitsky scored on a layup, and I scored on a putback off of a missed 3-pointer. That was all the offense we could muster.
Usually, when a team is overmatched physically, the 3-point shot is a weapon that can keep things relatively competitive. But, NBA range is quite a bit different from the 3-point lines at other gyms, and our shooters struggled to adjust, missing all their shots from beyond the arc.
As a big man, there wasn’t even time to post up. I had to help try to break the press. We couldn’t even get the ball near our basket most of the time.
The funniest moment of the day, to me, was when we gathered at halfcourt after the game. I heard a voice from above the court yelling “Does anyone want to do media?”
It was Jaylen Brown giving us a taste of our own medicine. He and Jayson Tatum stuck around to watch the game. We’ve all asked Brown tough questions after losses; he gleefully took the opportunity to show us what it felt like.
Fortunately, no one took it seriously enough to hold us accountable and actually answer questions. It would have been hard to describe what happened in the immediate aftermath of a loss like that.
Mazzulla was a good sport. He shook everyone’s hand after the game. We played a media vs. media game afterwards and he hung around to watch. Our game came down to the wire, and my team, the white media team, defeated the green media team 25-22.
The green team had the ball with 1.8 seconds remaining with a chance to tie, and Mazzulla pushed the refs to put an extra five seconds on the clock, giving them almost seven seconds to try to pull off some buzzer-beater magic.
I guess the coach was pulling for an exciting ending. Our defense held up, though, as the green team was unable to get a shot off before the final buzzer sounded.
Brad Stevens made an appearance after the game, too. The Celtics really made our little game feel like an event. We had access to the scoreboard. There was a 24-second shot clock and referees. It felt official.
Well, we officially got whooped by the coaches. It was to be expected. I watched a bunch of those guys play high-level basketball growing up. It was an honor to take the floor with them and to be able to say I scored.
One request for next time, Joe. If you’re going to pit us against your crew, at least give us a little bit of time to gameplan.
I want a rematch and some time to recruit. The media team really could have used a point guard and a skilled wing to help break that press. Too bad NBC Sports Boston’s Brian Scalabrine and Eddie House weren’t around.
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