Scotland: Here’s Some Free Advice
Dear Scotland,
We get it. We know what you’re going through. Breaking from England (Technically you’re breaking from the United Kingdom, but we know you aren’t mad about Wales and Northern Ireland) can be tough. At least they won’t start two wars to try and get you back.
OK, we picked the fight in both wars, but you get what we mean.
We’re Massachusetts. Our founders were so tired of the English, they crossed an ocean to get away from them. That was back when crossing an ocean was still super hard to do. And not to brag, but we sort of started this whole American independence thing.
That’s why we know what we’re talking about when we say: If you decide to try this again, independence can be great. Hard, but great. We know there are a lot of factors involved in your decision, but this would definitely be a growth experience for you (Unless your economy tanks, but you’ll survive that, too). And though secession lost this time around, better luck next time.
Here’s some free advice if you decide to try this again:
You can survive any hardships that come from this vote. Could things go wrong? Sure. When we sailed over here, we didn’t quite expect it to be so cold during the winters. Lots of us died. But with a little help from the locals and some hard lessons learned, we were able to survive and prosper.
Be willing to compromise. We surrendered all of Maine as part of a big compromise. It’s fine, though. We visit there a lot. It’s so pretty! But we get the feeling they still hate us.
Anyway, we gave up all of Maine, partly because Maine wanted to leave, and partly to keep peace in the union when Missouri became a state. Missouri wanted to keep slaves, and we didn’t.
Speaking of slavery, you could also learn about what not to do based on our experience. Losing Maine was tough, but it pushed back the Civil War by 40 years.
Be more tolerant of others. You’d think we’d have already known that, since we felt persecuted at home. We left the motherland to freely practice our religion, but we routinely kicked out others for not following our faith closely enough. You should write to Rhode Island; I’m sure it has some choice words about this as well.
Be nicer to your neighbors. Remember the hard winters we talked about earlier? We never would have made it the first couple of years without the help of the native Americans in the area. But after a while, we forgot about that help, and the winters got even harder. We fought, and sadly we killed, enslaved or drove out many of our former friends. We’re still ashamed of that to this day.
So that’s our advice: Stay strong, be cool toward everyone, and be willing to compromise so everybody wins. The rest is easy.
Love, Massachusetts
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