The Boston Globe

We asked an AI program to write stories about Boston. Here’s how it went.

The latest in artificially intelligent chat technology has been lauded for its ability to mimic various writing styles. But is it too good?

Ally Rzesa/Globe Staff
Ally Rzesa / The Boston Globe

Conversations. Scientific queries. Lines of code. Letters. Recipes. Creative fiction. Sonnets. Songs.

For better or worse, ChatGPT can apparently do it all.

As many people have noticed since the online tool was publicly released in late November, the chatbot — powered by artificial intelligence — can do an eerily good job of imitating the real thing.

The tool, which was built by OpenAI, a nonprofit research lab, allows users to input prompts that ask the conversational assistant to generate an array of writing tasks.

In what feels like an instant, ChatGPT will answer the questions or spit out renditions of human-produced content, like legal analysis that some lawyers have said rivals that of actual practitioners.

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Since it was first unveiled, people have been using the AI-powered program to formulate tongue-in-cheek responses, asking it to do everything from explaining quantum theory through the lens of rapper Snoop Dogg to writing a biblical verse about removing a peanut butter sandwich from a VCR.

Others have used it to better understand Gen Z slang, or, as one user claims, to negotiate a lower Comcast bill.

All of it has been done with sometimes startlingly convincing grammar and syntax.

ChatGPT is by no means perfect, and has been known to share incorrect information with an air of confidence (in one flub, it repeatedly struggled to answer the question “What is the world’s fastest marine mammal?”, believing it was a Peregrine falcon.)

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It can also reflect the biases of the pre-existing text it combs through to generate answers.

Its widespread availability — more than a million people have experimented with it already — has fueled concerns about how the tool might be used to help students create essays for class assignments, or let scammers write grammatically correct phishing e-mails and generate malware.

In an interview with TechCrunch last week, MIT fellow Paul Kedroski compared the technology to “a virus [that] has been released into the wild with no concern for the consequences.”

To get a better sense of ChatGPT’s capabilities, we fed it a series of Boston-related prompts, including requests to write Boston Globe articles based on entirely fictional events.

What follows are the exact requests we typed into the ChatGPT tool, along with the results it produced nearly instantaneously.

So how good is it at producing prose in the style of a news article? And how does its writing stack up with the likes of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, or a film producer like Ben Affleck?

Judge for yourself.

“Write a Boston Globe article recapping the Westminster Dog Show, but all the dogs are Boston Dynamics robots”

The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show has always been a spectacle of the canine world, showcasing some of the most beautiful and talented dogs in the world. But this year’s event had a twist that no one was expecting: all of the competitors were Boston Dynamics robots.

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The audience at Madison Square Garden was stunned as the robots took to the stage, each one moving with a grace and agility that was almost indistinguishable from a real dog. Some of the robots even had lifelike fur and wagging tails, adding to the illusion.

The judges were equally impressed by the robots’ performance, awarding top honors to a robot golden retriever named “Goldie” for its impressive obedience routine. Other standout competitors included a robotic poodle named “Sparks” and a robotic German shepherd named “Scout.”

While the idea of robot dogs competing in a dog show may seem strange, it highlights the incredible advancements in robotics technology in recent years. The robots at the Westminster Dog Show were able to perform a variety of tasks, from simple commands like sit and stay, to more complex tasks like running obstacle courses and dancing to music.

Many in the audience were also amazed by the robots’ ability to interact with their handlers, showing a level of social intelligence that is not commonly seen in robots. Some even commented on how the robots seemed to have their own personalities, with Goldie wagging its tail excitedly when it was awarded first place.

Overall, the Westminster Dog Show was a unique and fascinating event, showcasing the capabilities of some of the most advanced robots in the world. While the idea of robot dogs may be a little unsettling to some, there’s no denying the impressive feats of engineering and artificial intelligence that were on display.

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“Write a Boston Globe article about Boston accents suddenly vanishing overnight”

As residents of Boston woke up this morning, many were shocked to find that their distinctive Boston accents had vanished overnight. The classic “wicked smaht” way of speaking that has long been associated with the city and its residents was nowhere to be found, leaving many to wonder what could have caused such a sudden and widespread change.

According to experts, the sudden disappearance of the Boston accent is likely due to a combination of factors. Some speculate that it may be the result of a collective subconscious desire among Bostonians to shed the stereotype of the “dumb Bostonian” that has long been associated with the accent. Others point to the increasing influence of mass media and the homogenizing effects of globalization, which may have led to a more standardized way of speaking in the city.

Regardless of the reason, the loss of the Boston accent has left many residents feeling a sense of loss and nostalgia. “I grew up with that accent, and it’s just a part of who I am,” said one lifelong Boston resident. “It’s sad to see it go.”

The disappearance of the accent has also raised concerns about the potential loss of other aspects of Boston’s unique culture and identity. Local businesses that were known for their Boston accents, such as the Cheers bar, have reported a significant drop in customers, and there are fears that the city’s tourist industry may also be affected.

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For now, Bostonians are left to grapple with the sudden change and figure out what it means for their city and their own personal identities. Some are hopeful that the accent will return in time, while others are resigned to the fact that it may be gone for good. Whatever the case, it is clear that the disappearance of the Boston accent has left a void that will be difficult to fill.

“Write a Boston Globe article about Rob Gronkowski growing to the size of Godzilla and stomping through the city of Boston”

In a shocking turn of events, former New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski has reportedly grown to the size of the legendary monster Godzilla and has been spotted stomping through the streets of Boston.

Eyewitnesses describe Gronkowski, who stands at a staggering 350 feet tall, causing destruction and chaos as he rampages through the city. Emergency crews and the National Guard have been deployed to try and stop him, but so far their efforts have been unsuccessful.

“It’s like something out of a nightmare,” said one terrified resident. “Gronkowski is just tearing through buildings and cars like they’re nothing. I don’t now how this is even possible.”

The cause of Gronkowski’s sudden growth and rampaging behavior is unknown at this time, but some speculate that it may be the result of a genetic experiment gone wrong. Scientists are working around the clock to try and find a solution to this crisis.

In the meantime, Boston residents are being urged to stay indoors and avoid any areas where Gronkowski has been sighted. The situation remains tense and uncertain, and it is unclear how long it will take to bring the former football star under control.

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This is a developing story, and we will provide updates as more information becomes available.

“Write a synopsis of a comedy movie about a man who makes movies about Boston”

In “Boston Bred,” Jack is a struggling filmmaker who is passionate about making movies about his hometown of Boston. Despite the challenges he faces, Jack is determined to showcase the city’s rich history and unique culture on the big screen. However, his big break seems out of reach until he gets the chance to make a movie about the beloved local chain, Dunkin’ Donuts. As Jack delves into the history of the company and its iconic role in Boston, he finds himself on a wild adventure filled with eccentric characters, unexpected twists, and of course, plenty of donuts. Along the way, he learns the true meaning of home and discovers that sometimes, the best stories are the ones that are close to home.

“Re-write the Midnight Ride of Paul Revere as if he had ridden an e-scooter instead of a horse”

On the evening of April 18th, Paul Revere set out on his e-scooter

With haste, he rode through the streets of Boston

Alerting the colonists of the approaching British

His message was urgent and clear: “The Regulars are coming, they’re almost here!”

He rode through the town, his e-scooter’s wheels a blur

Knocking on doors and shouting out loud

“The Regulars are coming, they’re almost here!”

The message must be spread, without delay or fear

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Soon, other riders joined in the cause

Riding their e-scooters through the streets and alleys

Alerting the colonists to the impending danger

Their message was clear: “The Regulars are coming, they’re almost here!”

The e-scooters raced through the night

Their riders brave and true

Spreading the warning far and wide

That the Regulars were coming, and it was time to fight

And so, thanks to Paul Revere and his trusty e-scooter

The colonists were prepared for the British attack

Their bravery and determination would help secure

Their victory and independence, never to look back

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