Deflategate: The Best Late-Night Jokes
Late-night comedians gave Patriots fans lots of reasons to laugh — and cringe — Thursday night as they took aim at the NFL’s Deflategate report. Here are the best/most painful gags:
Jimmy Kimmel
“Of course, the response to this has been divided. Some people believe the Patriots are cheaters who should fined and penalized – and possibly even made to forfeit the games – and other people are from Boston.’’
David Letterman
“There apparently are incriminating texts and emails about what they call Deflategate. Earlier today, Hillary announced that she would be happy to delete them.’’
“Tom Brady, four-time Super Bowl-winning quarterback Tom Brady is in trouble… He may have to spend weekends in a cell with Aaron Hernandez … or play for the Jets.’’
“By the way, this raises an interesting question, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell: Which way does the commissioner look if he’s already looking the other way?’
Click here to watch the entire episode.
Seth Meyers
“The president of Tom Brady’s California high school says the whole community is praying for Tom and his family, the whole community. … Wow, that’s a lot of pressure. if only there was a way to get rid of some of that pressure. Not all of it. Just to let a little of the pressure out. Not enough so it’s obvious.’’
Jon Stewart
“After the story broke, Brady was texting the ball guy like he was a late night booty call.’’
“Tommy, you cheating f—. Why? You got four Super Bowl rings. You’re married to the biggest supermodel in the world. Your face — your beautiful face — is a wonder of symmetry, a platonic ideal of beauty that can survive even the stupidest of haircuts. … And yet even with these dopey f—ing haircuts, you’re still so handsome I would f— the hole in your chin.’’
“Sorry. I would but you, my friend, stood up there in one of America’s most sacred places – the podium room before Super Bowl week – and you lied to us.’’
Watch the video:
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