Harvard graduation speakers keep joking about this local bar
"The scorpion bowl can wait.”
There’s a particular playbook for the legions of college commencement speakers that take the stage in the Boston area each year: Be humble to the point of self-deprecating, impart some aspirational words of wisdom, tell students to be true to themselves, and maybe fold in some humor.
But for speakers at Harvard University’s graduation ceremonies, there seems to be another recurring pattern: Make a joke about one Cambridge’s most famous — or infamous — late-night destinations.
“It was only 53 years ago that I was in your shoes, so I know you’ve had an amazing experience here,” former New York City mayor and Harvard Business School alum Michael Bloomberg said this week at his alma mater’s Class Day.
“You have mastered the case method during your time on campus — and the art of asking tough questions, like why don’t the printers ever work here?,” Bloomberg went on, adding. “And the toughest question of all: How many people does it take to finish a scorpion bowl at Hong Kong? For the record, the correct answer there is more than one.”
Ah yes, Hong Kong. The three-floor Chinese food restaurant/nightclub and its scorpion bowls have become something of a Harvard Square institution during its 65 years in business. And they aren’t just popular among students at the local Ivy League school.
In an apparent effort to convey a level of knowingness about how the youths these days like to hang, a number of high-profile speakers — from the creator of “Family Guy” to a former vice president — at Harvard’s end-of-year ceremonies have snuck in references to “The Kong” and its sweet, hangover-inducing fishbowl drinks.
Here’s a non-exhaustive sampling from the last decade and a half (please let us know if there are any we missed):
Former Vice President Joe Biden, Harvard’s 2017 Class Day speaker:
“I know a lot of you are counting the minutes until you can ditch your parents and head to the Kong, but this day’s for them to, you know. It’s not just yours, and the scorpion bowl can wait.”
Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, Harvard’s 2014 Class Day speaker:
Congratulations everyone, you made it. And I don’t mean to end the of college. I mean to Class Day — because if memory serves, some of your classmates had too many scorpions bowls at the Kong last night and aren’t with us today.
Michael Bloomberg (again), Harvard’s 2014 commencement speaker:
Now, all of you graduates have earned today’s celebration, and you have a lot to be proud of, a lot to be grateful for. So tonight, as you leave this great university behind, have one last scorpion bowl at the Kong – on second thought, don’t – and tomorrow, get back to work making our country and our world freer than ever, freer for everyone.
U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York Preet Bharara, Harvard Law School’s 2014 Class Day speaker:
It really is an honor to be here. I have had an unexpectedly productive trip so far. I arrived last evening, stopped by the Business School, dropped off a couple of subpoenas, arrested three guys for insider trading, and finished off the evening sipping a scorpion bowl at the Kong.
So I’m sitting at the Hong Kong restaurant, which I will note has changed like not at all in the 24 years since I was a regular patron when I was in the college. And so I’m sipping the scorpion bowl through that ridiculous kiddy straw that they give you and reviewing my prepared text for today, which was replete with lofty quotations from Oliver Wendall Holmes and Felix Frankfurter and, of course, one Mr. [Christopher] Langdell.
And then I had what people called a moment of clarity. That will happen to you when you drink a scorpion bowl.
Actor and filmmaker Seth MacFarlane, Harvard’s 2006 Class Day speaker (doing an impression of his sex-obsessed “Family Guy” character Quagmire):
I’ll keep my remarks brief today, because I’m meeting two women and an animal handler at Hong Kong’s in about 20 minutes. Heh, all-right.
