Her family says she was a victim of domestic abuse. They don’t want others to experience what they’ve gone through.
“If Maddilyn were here with us today and had an opportunity to help other women that were in abusive relationships, she would do it.”
When Maddilyn Burgess was very small, she studied dance. Ballet followed tap lessons. And later, in high school, her interest led her to become a cheerleader. Dancing was one of the ways the native of Oxford, Massachusetts, expressed herself, even long after she stopped taking lessons, her mother, Cindi Perla, told Boston.com.“We would have a lot of silly time in the house,” she recalled. “Cooking dinner, we would put music on and we would dance in the kitchen, whether it was a slow dance together, her and I, or some sort of funky, pop music.” Her daughter and her friends had their own hand movements for songs, that would be employed while driving in the car, music playing.“She just loved music,” Perla said. “And I’m kind of cracking up to myself [as] I think about it and I talk about it, because it was really very classic Maddilyn.”
Maddilyn Rose Burgess.
It is just one of the many memories the mother of five has of her second eldest child, who authorities say was murdered by her boyfriend who subsequently committed suicide in August.
Now Perla and the rest of her family are working to establish a resource to help others suffering domestic violence.
“When we learned what had happened to Maddilyn and learned more of the details, of course we were absolutely devastated,” she said. “We had a choice at that point. [You have] a choice to either let that devastation overcome you and ruin you as a person, as a parent. Or you have a choice to turn tragedy somehow into some sort of a good, in any way that you can.
“And that’s what we chose to do. That’s the example that we have raised our children to hold, including Maddilyn herself. That no matter what your story is you can turn it around. You can make it good. Not that my daughter’s death will ever be a good thing, don’t misunderstand me, but I want to continue to demonstrate to my other children and to the community that we can honor Maddilyn and the tragedy by helping other people.”
Perla and her family have established the The Maddilyn Rose Memorial Fund, care of Hometown Bank, and started a GoFundMe page with the hope of creating a resource for domestic violence victims called “Maddy’s House.”
“If my daughter could have done this herself, she would have,” Perla said. “If Maddilyn were here with us today and had an opportunity to help other women that were in abusive relationships, she would do it.”
Before she died, the 28-year-old wanted to go back to school and become a nurse.
She always wanted to help others, her mother said.
But, she said, one of the biggest obstacles her daughter faced in her own abusive relationship was the lack of local resources for victims of domestic violence.
“She was embarrassed, she was ashamed, and she felt like she was alone without any help available,” Perla said. “And I really would want any man or woman in that position to know that they are not alone, and that they do matter and that people do care. I want to make sure that [there are] resources to anybody and everybody who need it.”
She said she had told her own daughter that if she was scared, she “needed to get out.”
The New Hampshire resident recalled how she kept her cell phone on “24/7,” in case her daughter, living in Sturbridge with her boyfriend of about six or nine months, called and whispered into the phone that she was scared.
“Every time my phone rang I was afraid that something had happened,” Perla said. “There were times when I’d gone down to pick her up after getting a call where I was afraid to go to the door for my own safety.”
It wasn’t until June, when Burgess was visiting her father in Hanson for her birthday and Father’s Day weekend, that Perla said the family became aware of the “severity” of what was happening in the 28-year-old’s relationship.
Her boyfriend had driven down and gotten a hotel room nearby, and, when Burgess went to see him, he assaulted her, Perla said.
Maddilyn Rose Burgess.
After that, she said she got calls at least once or twice a week from her daughter, asking that she pick her up.
Perla said her daughter was a “private person” and was careful about what she said and who she said it to, a product, she believes, of being abused.
“When you are in this type of a situation, the abuser often isolates the victim,” she said. “And that’s exactly what happened to Maddilyn, she was not allowed to talk to or visit her friends anymore. He would get very angry and jealous when I would come and pick her up or she would spend time with either myself, her sister, or her father. He really tried to make her completely dependent upon him for everything. Transportation, food, finances, a safe and warm place to live. He isolated her from everybody and everything.”
In the week before Burgess’s death, Perla said she was driving down to pick her daughter up after getting a call that she was scared.
“As I got closer she wasn’t answering her phone,” she recalled. “And the thought had crossed my mind that he had seriously hurt her. And at that time I drove to the police station because I was afraid to go to the door.”
“It’s very, very hard,” she added. “It’s heartbreaking. It’s gut wrenching. Nobody ever wants to think of their loved one being hurt in any way, physically, emotionally. Any way.”
So far, more than $8,000 has been donated to the fundraising page for the establishment of “Maddy’s House.” Perla said the plan is to turn the fund into a foundation — the Maddilyn Rose Memorial Foundation — based in Massachusetts.
In the meantime, there are events planned to help raise money in Burgess’s memory. On Oct. 14, the Pinecrest Golf Club in Holliston is holding a golf tournament to benefit the establishment of “Maddy’s House.”
“I don’t want to see any other families have to go through what my family has had to endure,” Perla said. “If we can help just one young woman get the help that she needs or make resources available, we will have done our job.”
