John Kasich tells the best worst jokes
The road to winning the New Hampshire primary is paved with dad jokes. Or at least it will be if John Kasich has any say in it.
Closing in on 100 New Hampshire town halls, the Ohio governor is blanketing the state… in puns.
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ABC News reporter Ben Gittleson, who has been covering the Republican candidate’s campaign, documented a few of Kasich’s favorites Thursday:
“How about that very serious fight in Portsmouth last night?’’ Kasich asked a crowd in Plymouth this week. “I don’t know if you’ve heard—I don’t know if it was a biker gang or whatever, but it was brutal.’’
“There were two battered fish.’’
…
“I was in Maine,’’ Kasich said in Newbury. “I ran into this guy who was very nice on the sidewalk, and I said, ‘Sir, excuse me, but have you lived here your whole life?’’’
“And he said, ‘Not yet!’’’
…
Kasich has not been known to shy away from (questionably) good one-liners.
“I ran into a lady today who’s a nurse,’’ he told a full room at a Veterans of Foreign Wars hall in Littleton, New Hampshire, in October. “I asked her ‘What is the most important thing for a nurse to have?’ She said, ‘I don’t know—what?’ I said, ‘Patients!’’’
Undeterred by the “oooh’s’’ and painful laughter, he offered “one more for the grandkids.’’
“Do you know why the skeleton couldn’t go to the party?’’ he asked the group.
“Next!’’ someone mockingly shouted, amid the laughter.
But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Kasich’s dad jokes — in other words: puns, old movie references, and folksy observational humor — are just now reaching their pinnacle.
He’s been telling the aforementioned skeleton joke since October.
In November, he issued an official resolution from the Office of the Governor making fun of Michigan football coach Jim Harbaugh and his khakis in support of Ohio State football.
For the sports fan-voter, he’s also got basketball references.
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During a January campaign stop at a New Hampshire brewery, Kasich sampled a beer and decided it was time to pun, per NBC News.
“It’ll keep you hoppin! Get it?’’ he said. “How about this? You know, that beer was really good. I liked it.’’
At a January stop at Morse Sporting Goods Store in Hillsborough, captured on Showtime’s campaign documentary series, The Circus, Kasich marveled at a mounted moose head, musing about the size of the animal’s antlers.
“I’m talking to all these city slickers, when you see a moose, the head and the antlers are so big that when you look at it you wonder ‘How does it keep its head up?’ Am I right?’’ he asked with arms outstretched, looking for agreement
There’s this groaner he made to press photographers later that month:
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On Wednesday, Kasich got a question from an agriculture teacher.
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He also somehow included a reference to the 1980 movie Airplane within a post-September 11 story.
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At a town hall Thursday, Kasich riffed on the weather and the host town’s name with a John Travolta movie reference.
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And yet, perhaps the funniest thing Kasich has said on the campaign trail wasn’t even a joke.
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To the governor’s 16-year-old twin daughters: We feel your pain.
And we didn’t even touch on his singing.
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