A Harvard student wrote about the night she was raped
In a powerful op-ed headlined ‘Here’s How I Was Raped,’ Viviana Maymi recounts her story so that other victims of sexual assault know ‘... that they are not alone and they are not to blame.’
The following excerpts are republished with permission from Harvard student Viviana Maymi’s op-ed in The Crimson. You can read her full piece here.
On a chilly night in 2013, as the stress of the semester was coming to a peak, I had the most scarring experience of my life. In the moment, I wasn’t aware that it was happening. Yet I will always remember the trauma. Being sexually assaulted—raped—shattered my self-image and confidence in my own voice. My self-worth was stolen from me by someone I previously trusted. In hindsight, it’s painfully obvious that he did me wrong. He violated me. He is to blame.
Still, I was the one who dealt with the repercussions.
…
I’ve always been a strong woman. Like many of my peers, I’ve been the captain of a team, I’ve been the president of a club, and I’ve been confident in my academic and social abilities throughout my entire life. Perhaps so firmly believing in my power and worth as an individual made being a rape victim more difficult to accept.
But even more powerful was the nauseating notion of sexual assault inhabiting a “gray area’’ in which alcohol blurs previously clear boundaries: What if he didn’t notice I was that drunk? Why was I that drunk to begin with? He was drunk too, so how can he be to blame? The gray area is bullshit.
…
Yes, it’s on Harvard to provide better education. Yet it’s also on individual students to be better people.
Primarily with the support of my loving sister, the Office of Sexual Assault Prevention and Response, and Mental Health Services, I did accept what had happened. I did accept I was raped. Upon doing so, I felt even more pain. But then, I felt relief.
If you feel unsettled or wronged after any sexual interaction, you are absolutely entitled to your reaction. It’s your body. If you feel unsettled or wronged, or confused, or unsure—much like I felt the days following what was clearly a case of assault—reach out. It feels so, so, so much better to do so. Reach out to OSAPR, to MHS, your family, your blockmates, even to me. You don’t have to carry the weight of your experience alone, because you’re not alone. And no one should ever have to handle sexual assault alone.
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