Wear Jeans to a Country Club, and the Cops May Get Involved
Hey everybody, did you know it’s 2014? Because it is. It is 2014 and mankind literally just landed a spacecraft on a comet. Things are mostly awesome.
But apparently, news of our progressive society hasn’t yet reached Weston, Massachusetts. Or, at the very least, it hasn’t reached the 104 acres of Weston that make up the Weston Golf Club, where donning a pair of denim pants apparently warrants a shouting match, maybe a fist fight, and definitely a call to the cops.
The Boston Globe was all over this story, relaying that it all started innocently enough: Two guests were trying join a casual gathering at the club with friends. Apropos of the seriousness of the gathering, the pair was dressed comfortably in jeans. But things quickly turned south when the pair was allegedly accosted by club president Tom Ferry. Ferry reportedly used “profane language to tell them jeans are not allowed on the grounds.’’ From there, according to The Globe, things “escalated into a scene… so intense [that] police were called to defuse the situation.’’
Now, we understand if your natural inclination is to picture Judge Smails and Al Szervik screaming at each other until they’re red in the face, but this is worse. This is not something from the “Caddyshack’’ cutting room floor. These are real people who took their own time as well as the time of police officers to conduct an actual fight about pants.
And if it wasn’t alarming enough that one set of people congregate around the idea that durable, blue fabric is a crime against humanity, the fine folks over at Weston Golf Club are not alone. In fact, their distaste for denim, contempt for cargo shorts, and hatred of hooded sweatshirts is fairly common among the country club crowd. This is just a sampling, but it will ensure that you go out of your way to avoid these kinds of people for the rest of your life:
∙ Four Oaks Country Club, Dracut, Mass.: “Unacceptable attire includes all denim, high top sneakers, any type of sandal, tee shirts, tank tops, any top with bold commercial advertising (logos are acceptable), running shorts, and sweat pants.’’ (This probably eliminates your entire wardrobe, so you might as well just stay home.)
∙ Oakley Country Club, Watertown, Mass.: “Hats are allowed only in the Pub.’’
∙ Springfield Country Club, Springfield, Mass.: “Women may wear Sunday hats in the Clubhouse.’’
∙ Wellesley Country Club, Wellesley, Mass.: “Not all items sold in the golf shop will conform to the dress code.’’ (Just because we don’t like these clothes doesn’t mean we won’t sell them to you.)
∙ Brae Burn Country Club, West Newton, Mass.: “Denim is not allowed at any time in the clubhouse or on the golf courses.’’
∙ Longmeadow Country Club, Longmeadow, Mass.: “Pool attire is strictly limited to the immediate Pool area and is not acceptable in any other area of the Club grounds.’’
∙ Needham Golf Club, Needham, Mass.: “The following attire is not appropriate anywhere at the Club… Fashionably torn or ripped sweatshirts and sweatpants.’’ (What pair of sweatpants isn’t “fashionably torn’’?)
∙ Kernwood Country Club, Salem, Mass.: “Any attire that is frayed or has holes is not appropriate.’’
∙ Winchester Country Club, Winchester, Mass.: “The above dress code does not apply to infants and toddlers aged 3 and younger.’’ (How kind!)
∙ The Kittansett Club, Marion, Mass.: “While golf dress has been relaxed at many other clubs, The Kittansett Club adheres to its traditional dress policy.’’ (We’re looking at you, Winchester!)
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