How to Survive a New England Winter the Boston Way—By a Guy From Florida
Ever since I moved here in June, Bostonians have been badgering me about all the winter gear I just have to buy. As a born and raised Floridian, I don’t know what items you actually need to survive a New England winter. But I do know exactly what Bostonians say you need.
I’m not totally green to winter; college in New Jersey and a year in New York City taught me the basics of donning a big coat, wearing long underwear, and ordering dinner from the comfort of my bed. Still, friends, coworkers, distant family members, Tinder dates, and Uber drivers have taken it upon themselves to give me advice on making it through the winter. (My editor, for example, asked her editorial assistant to personally guide me through L.L. Bean’s website.)
It’s really nice of them! I appreciate the help. But it’s worth noting that all Bostonians have the exact same pieces of advice, and they reflect peculiar, Boston-specific issues.
This was particularly evident in a recent Reddit thread, where a “Boston noob’’ (i.e. newbie) asked users on the r/boston forum for winter advice.
“I’m a Floridian who came here in the summer and I have no concept of winter clothes,’’ the user — who I should clarify was not me — wrote. The tips poured in, and they jived almost exactly with the tips I’ve heard.
“Overdress. Better to be warm than cold,’’ user celphtitled wrote. “Yup, you can always take something off,’’ TvAzteca responded. “Pervert,’’ djangoreintart added. That’s Reddit in a nutshell for you.
In any case, there may be many ways to make it through a winter in the Hub, but there is only one way to make it through a winter in the Hub the real Boston™ way.
Get boots, and get them from L.L. Bean.
Apparently there is only one brand of boots that people own in Boston. If you’re not wearing L.L. Bean, stay inside. There are other brands, sure. But this is Boston, and only L.L. Bean boots will do. Only a fool ignores the endless possibilities of a lifetime guarantee.
Oh, and don’t just stop at the boots. Extend that L.L. Bean brand loyalty and buy those warm and cozy slippers, but be aware that they will get incredibly smelly within a few weeks.
Wear layers. No, more layers. Keep ’em coming.
That’s still not enough layers.
The puffiest coat you can find.
When it comes to goose down coats, the puffier the better. Sure, all those layers will make you look like the little boy from “A Christmas Story,’’ and that’s okay. You know, the kid so smothered in winter gear that he has to waddle back and forth to move anywhere? “I can’t put my arms down!’’ he cries. Stop crying. You can put your arms down in April.
Warm gloves that let you use your touchscreen phone.
No matter the weather, you’ll always need to scroll through your Twitter feed, so go buy capacitive gloves that can be used on touchscreen phones. That Instagram selfie of you slipping on the ice — which would never happen if you bought the right boots — can’t wait until you get inside.
Reddit users were less keen on those touchscreen gloves as a single source of protection, and rebel_wo_a_cause smartly recommended wearing thick, warm gloves over the capacitive ones.
Trust in the wool socks.
Step away from the cotton statement socks and go straight for the brown, gray, and black wool socks. Couple those with L.L. Bean boots, and that will help keep the warmth in and the icy-cold slush out. “Seriously if everything else was thrift store crap and I had wool socks I could make it,’’ mirkyj writes. Wool hiking socks generally cost around $10 a pair. They’re worth the price, I’ve been told.
Steal a traffic cone to use as a space saver.
Understanding Boston’s unique space-saving parking rules after a snowstorm is a must for anyone with a car. And sure, you can get by just fine saving your spot with a baby stroller, lawn chair, or propane tank, but nothing quite compares to a stolen — er, borrowed — piece of city property.
Don a colorful hat for pizzazz.
Well, only as long as that fashionable hat is on top of a beanie made of goose down or fleece or some other absurdly warm material. “Never underestimate the power of a good hat,’’ user natalieilatan advises on Reddit. Make that two, just for good measure.
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