Gender-Inclusive Language in the Workplace: Elaine Varelas Weighs In
Have you noticed a lack of gender-inclusive language and norms in your company's culture? Elaine Varelas advises
Q: I’ve been at my company just under a year, and I see an organization that is not inclusive and doesn’t seem to have a diversity focus. Senior leaders regularly call people “you guys” or make comments that assume the gender of someone’s partner (asking a woman, “What are you and your boyfriend doing this weekend?”). I mentioned this to my manager and he looked at me like I was crazy—now I worry I’ve been pegged as the overly sensitive employee. Should I push the matter? Or just deal with it?A:
For someone in your position—new to the company and seemingly not in a senior position—the answer lies somewhere between “pushing the matter” and “dealing with it.” At any level, you can make small impacts on the culture of an organization. You can communicate in a way that models inclusive language you hope your colleagues may emulate or at least notice in a positive way. It is a valid concern that you may be pegged as a difficult employee or as overly sensitive to issues that others might not consider problematic. You may want to position yourself as an employee who is very interested in inclusivity and diversity. This way, you can work toward making the organization better as opposed to becoming the office’s language police.
Much of what you are talking about is old-school language—which needs to evolve. Asking about a boyfriend or using a colloquial “you guys” has become such a norm that most people do not even question it. The biggest piece to consider is intent, and any other threatening behaviors that may accompany the talk, or any impact the typically attached thinking may have on your career. If you think there is deliberate negative intent behind this, it’s an entirely different situation that might warrant a visit to HR. If you don’t detect bad intent on the part of these colleagues, talk to your manager and Human Resources about ways you can impact the organization in a positive way around this topic—perhaps by starting a special interest group (though it should be mainstream) or offering training that raises awareness, minimizes gender bias, and fosters a more inclusive culture. Look for senior leaders who might be supportive of your initiative. These are the people you can talk to, making sure to take the approach of making the organization a better company. Your approach should focus on making positive, constructive changes—not making everyone afraid to say something in front of you or ensuring no one wants to develop a relationship with you.
You don’t mention whether these comments are being directed at you or if you are overhearing them between other parties. Is this just an overheard conversation that bothers you? This is an important distinction in finding the line between being the language police and being a positive influence. It’s worth noting too that, in the business world, some people choose to maintain “old-school” gendered language for a specific purpose. For example, it’s not unheard of for women to keep the title of Chairman rather than Chairwoman or Chairperson so as to not minimize the title. Whatever the situation, model appropriate language to change the dynamic—you can refer to anyone’s significant other as their partner rather than boyfriend or girlfriend, and you can always address a group of people as “everyone” instead of “guys.”
Research your company’s options in corporate communications or Human Resources, as organizations often welcome the creation of task forces aimed at creating a better company culture. Make sure your message is about making the workplace more welcoming and more inclusive by changing some of the language being used and increasing awareness of gender-inclusivity among colleagues—including your senior leaders.
