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Globe Santa: Kids feel the weight of addiction, especially during the holidays
"The children deserve a good Christmas."
The slants and curves of the handwriting on each letter to Globe Santa are unique, but the stories they tell are often eerily similar. They’re from family members left with the massive financial and emotional responsibility of taking in nieces, nephews and grandchildren when their loved ones are overcome by addiction.
One 24-year-old woman was barely out of childhood herself when she began caring for her nieces and nephew, ages 17, 11 and 7. The children’s mother struggles with a substance abuse disorder and is homeless. The family survives off of a disability payment of less than $600 a month, which barely stretches to cover the basics, let alone gifts for the holidays.
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“We would be very grateful to be considered for this assistance program for Christmas help. The children deserve a good Christmas as I financially cannot provide this due to our circumstances,” the aunt wrote to Globe Santa.
These circumstances – ones shrouded by the shadow of addiction and the desolation it can cause – are experienced by families all over the region. Nearly a third of all New Englanders say they know someone with an opioid addiction, according to a nationwide survey released earlier this year. In Massachusetts, an estimated 2,125 people died from opioid-related overdoses in 2023, leaving children without parents while family and friends scramble to provide any support they can.
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That’s what one woman in a city west of Boston is doing for her 11-year-old nephew and 7-year-old niece after their father – the woman’s brother – died of an overdose last year. The kids have lived with the aunt and her wife since 2018 because their dad struggled to provide stability.
It all hit like a wave: The kids’ grief and trauma and the lingering impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic that the family just can’t shake. The aunts, who have two young children of their own, went from “suitably employed” to “chronically underemployed.”
“My wife and I work hard both in the home and out to give our kids all they need, and we do, but we aren’t always able to give them what they want,” the aunt wrote.
Children of parents with substance abuse disorders often have to cope with realities no child should experience, like being separated from their mom or dad. It’s a tough situation for everyone, and there’s a lack of resources for both people with addiction and their loved ones, said Alex Collins a medical social scientist at Tufts University.
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Last year, a grandmother in Brockton became guardian to her 4-year-old grandson after his mother became addicted to drugs. The boy had been neglected while living with his mother, and he immediately had to undergo surgery to remove the majority of his top teeth. All of his molars are now capped in silver, and he’s being assessed for early intervention speech therapy for a speech impediment.
“But, through all these bumps and humps in the road, he is thriving! I can only continue to love and support him as he overcomes these obstacles so he can meet each milestone,” the grandmother told Globe Santa. “He deserves as much support as possible as we get him ready for kindergarten next year.”
The toll of addiction can take different forms. Some people with substance abuse disorders struggle to maintain relationships, while others have trouble keeping a job. Just accessing help can be enough to destroy a family’s finances.
“I work with a lot of families who literally cash in some retirements to send their kids to a residential program, which is crazy, but they’re trying to help their child when insurance doesn’t help,” said James McKowen, clinical director of the Mass General Brigham Addiction Recovery Management Service.
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Among all the letters to Globe Santa detailing the destruction that addiction leaves in its wake, there was one that sparkled with something priceless: a sense of hope.
The mom lives with her 11-month-old at a recovery home for women and their children. She arrived when she was pregnant so that she could give her daughter the life she deserves. She’s in recovery and is working to soon be completely self-sufficient.
“I do realize my sweet girl didn’t ask to be born in a program like this, so I’m working my butt off to have a place of our own once I’m stable,” she wrote. “But while we are here, I promise her that I will be the best mommy I can be and no matter where we live on Christmas, she’s been the best girl and Santa will treat her to all the toys and gifts she deserves.”
Marin Wolf is a freelance writer. She can be reached at [email protected].
For 69 years Globe Santa, a program of the Boston Globe Foundation, has provided gifts to children in need at holiday time. Please consider giving by phone, mail, or online at globesanta.org.
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