Some things that may help you worry less when you’re a senior in college
People like to tell you what to do when you start your freshman year of college. “Join a bunch of clubs,’’ they’ll say. “Get out of your comfort zone.’’
Don’t listen to them. Sign your most Republican friend up for the “Students for Bernie Sanders’’ listserve instead.
They—your parents’ friends, your sister’s boyfriend, your old soccer coach—will also give you helpful hints like, “Don’t split the cost of a mini fridge with your roommate because when you find out she’s been stealing your socks all year you won’t want to live with her again and you’ll have to cut the fridge in half to be fair.’’
They’ll give you advice because they want you to succeed, and because it’s easier to help you when you’re a freshman. You’re learning how to balance intense friendships with lots of school work, how to handle a party scene you might not have navigated before, how to discover what makes you want to do well—not just to please others but because you find the material and the work rewarding. There are many opportunities for people who love you to point you in the right direction.
But helping you as you head into your senior year is more difficult. At this point, you probably have most of the logistical/balancing act situations figured out. Or at least managed. Now, you have to start making decisions that will impact the trajectory of your life. You’ve already laid the foundation for many of these choices, but, if you’re anything like I was, you might have no idea how to build on it. People who want help you might not know how to anymore.
My final year of school would’ve been far better spent if I’d wasted less time worrying about things I couldn’t control, or about whether I was doing things the right way (I wasn’t, because there isn’t one). I’m not in the professional business of giving advice, but I did make it through. Here are a few things that could’ve made it a bit easier.
1. Don’t assume there’s a playbook for getting where you want to go…
“Hmm,’’ the head honcho of the career center said, brow furled. “I’m not sure we can help you with that. Would you be interested in a career in insurance?’’
It was November of my senior year, and I was sitting in the career center. I’d just told said honcho that I wanted to be a magazine writer in New York City. While I was frustrated with his response at the time, I now know that even if my school—which didn’t have a journalism major—did have connections to the editorial world, it wouldn’t have meant much. There are some industries that are harder to crack into than others. The business of being a writer is one of them.
If you’re interested in a career that’s harder to get into or that requires less of a clear-cut path to do so, you might have to bushwack for a while. This may mean taking jobs you’re not crazy about to pay the bills while you rely on side projects to prove your worth. Your senior year is a great time to start those projects and ask professors and alumni to connect you to people whose careers you admire. People love to talk about themselves. They’ll be down to give you a play-by-play of what worked and didn’t work for them.
2. …and don’t beat yourself up if you have no idea where you want to end up.
Seriously. We’re putting a lot of weight on “passion’’ these days, which can sometimes have the effect of making you freeze rather than fly. A lot of people don’t know what they’re passionate about, and, even if they do, might have a passion that’s more difficult to articulate. You might, for example, love the process of making things happen. That’s a lot harder to put into words or explain to your parents than saying, “I love teaching,’’ or “I’m passionate about curing the sick.’’
The best thing you can do is pinpoint what you like best about school, and then double down on that for your last year. Is it the outing club you’re really into? Hike your heart out. Is it your math class? Problem solve like a boss. It might not be clear now, but the people you connect with while you do these things can help you start to figure out how to translate them into their real-world equivalents.
3. Remember that no one is thinking about you as much as you are.
In your senior year, everything is a “last:’’ The last formal, the last exams, the last time you’ll eat soft-serve on a Thursday in October while wearing your favorite shirt. There’s a lot of pressure surrounding what you’ll do and where you go once you leave, so of course you’re going to be thinking about yourself a lot. Because you’re most likely worried you’ll have no idea what to do.
The great news is that everyone else is just as wrapped up in their own head as you are. So that Instagram your friend put up without you in it captioned “#squad’’ was most likely not an intentional slight, but an oversight. If it was intentional, find new friends. There’s still time.
4. Don’t freak out if you wouldn’t want all of your current friends to be in your wedding party.
Speaking of friends, cliques often get solidified in college pretty quickly, whether it’s because of where you live, what activities you take part in, or which sorority or fraternity you join. A lot of people stay in those freshman year clusters because it feels like it’s too late to branch out. Even if you love that cluster dearly, you might be slowly realizing that the video game you and Stephen bonded over during orientation isn’t quite the relationship solidifier you thought it was. Don’t freak out that you’ll never make new friends again. You’ll meet plenty of wonderful people after school. The world is much bigger than your graduating class.
5. Enjoy it. And if you truly hate it, hate it.
There are some perks to school that don’t always apply to the real world. You can’t always set your own schedule in the wild, and you don’t get conveniently timed vacations around the holidays. If you’re a nerd like me, you might even miss the learning part once it’s over. If you love your squad, it’s pretty cool to live close to all your friends. These are all things to relish.
But college isn’t an easy time for everyone. If you’ve had a rough go, you have just as much a right to be pumped about never having to step foot in those hallowed halls as the person next to you has to be bummed about it. Don’t feel like you have to apologize for whichever you feel.
Lastly, remember that nothing is set in stone. You’ve still got a few months left. You can still blow it. You can still make it great.
But whatever you do, make sure you own the fridge.
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