Now we know there were two screaming children at that diner in Maine
The owner of the diner responded to a tantrum with a tantrum.
COMMENTARY
As a parent, you will be mortified by your crying children in a restaurant. It’s unavoidable.
For restaurant owners and staff members, it’s their job to be present during this most unpleasant chunk in a parent’s day. They can’t just up and leave. How should an establishment handle it? Never, in my opinion, by screaming at a child.
That’s what happened at Marcy’s Diner in Portland, Maine, when Tara and John Carson stopped for breakfast with their 20-month-old daughter. Their daughter was crying during the meal. That’s when diner owner Darla Neugebauer slammed her hands on the counter, pointed at the child, and screamed at her to stop.
Which very much sounds to me like the grown-up answered a tantrum with a tantrum.
But it gets worse. Both sides took their stories to the diner’s Facebook page, where things really got ugly.
I’ve listened to both parties state their case to WCSH6 and I’ve read their jabs at each other on Facebook (which have now been erased, but the screenshots remain). Of course, there are discrepancies. Neugebauer said the child was crying for 40 minutes and the mom said it was only 10. Neugebauer said she told the child to stop, while the mom said she told her child to “shut the hell up.’’
Regardless, both parties agree on one thing: Neugebauer yelled at the child. She admitted it in the WCSH6 interview when she said the family’s response to her was, “Are you screaming at a child?’’ and her answer to them was, “Yes I am!’’ As a mom and a former waitress, I think she crossed the line.
Neugebauer explained her short fuse to WCSH6 in this cavalier manner: “I might snap, and I do scream at times, but that’s all it is, just leaning over the counter and yelling.’’
I’m speechless. This is not how a business owner should conduct business. It’s beyond unprofessional.
Carson took to the diner’s Facebook page to complain, writing, “Who in their right mind would behave like this unless you are deranged.’’
Neugebauer’s response?
“Yes I am [BLANK] crazy & you are lucky I didn’t get really [BLANK] nuts because being physical is not something I cower from.’’
Wow.
More than two million people from around the world commented on the mom’s post, reported WCVB. And, though the post has been taken down, folks on both sides of the issue have continued to weigh in on the diner’s Facebook page. Some say the owner crossed the line. Others applaud her for standing up to the family. Many folks in the latter camp assume the child is unruly and the parents indulgent.
News flash, people: Children cry! They cry on trains and planes and, yes, in restaurants. And even good parents have crying children. Of course there are parents out there who let their children run amok. It’s a wide world full of different parenting styles. But I happen to think most of us are doing the best we can and the world needs to cut us some slack.
I have two elementary school-age children so I’ve lived through my share of public crying episodes. And I consider myself a conscientious, respectful person and an attentive parent. It’s mortifying. And, while we deal with it, the public must witness — and hear — the whole messy thing.
I’ll never forget when my daughter was 3-years-old and flipped out in an ice cream parlor. All eyes were on us as we tried to calm her down. Finally, my husband picked her up and carried her out while I gathered our stuff, apologized to the room, and followed suit. The owners never approached us. But if we were approached and asked to please calm her down outside, I would have considered it a perfectly reasonable request and obliged.
According to their Facebook posts, Neugebauer said she asked the family to leave but the family said she, in fact, approached their daughter first. I wasn’t there, and I don’t know who is telling the truth. But the bottom line is that a business owner should not yell at a toddler. Grow up, and act like an adult.
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