How to talk to Gronk about Deflategate
Have a seat, Gronk. We need to talk.
No, you’re not in trouble. We’ll go back outside in a minute.
There’s something I need to tell you about your friend, Tom. I want you to hear it from me before you hear it from one of your brothers. Heaven forbid you hear about it on Facebook.
Tom did something wrong, he got caught, and he’s going to get punished for it. Are you listening? It’s complicated, but I’ll try to explain it as best I can. Ask me a question if you don’t understand something.
Tom likes his footballs a certain way, since he’s touching them all the time. He likes them a little softer, so he can grip them better. You know how we squeeze the grapefruits at Stop & Shop until we find a ripe one? Tom likes his footballs kinda like that.
Players like Tom are allowed to have their footballs soft, but not too soft. To make it fair for everybody, the NFL has a rule that says how much air has to be in each ball. That way, players like you who catch the ball a lot won’t have an advantage over someone like Odell Beckham Jr., in New York, who might have to catch a harder ball. Remember him? He’s the guy competing with you to be on the cover of the Madden football game.
How do they know if the balls are too soft? That’s a good question. The referee measures them before every game. What happened with Tom is that another team complained that the balls he was using might be too soft, and it turns out they were. Gronk! Please put down the iPad. When the NFL looked into it, they found out that the Patriots were taking air out of the balls after the referees checked them, when they weren’t supposed to. That’s against the rules.
Did Tom take the air of the balls himself? No. But the NFL says that the ball boys who did it were probably following Tom’s orders. Tom’s the quarterback. He’s the boss. They wouldn’t do it without his permission.
So what happens now? Tom was suspended for four games, and the Patriots were fined a million dollars and got two draft picks taken away. To make it clear what a big deal that is, no NFL team has ever been fined that much.
Yes, you still play for the Patriots. Yes, you can still talk to Tom on the phone, but he won’t be at any of your games in September. You should still be friends with Tom. He’s not a bad person, he just did a bad thing. I understand if that upsets you, and I’m sorry.
Now put on your shoes, it’s time for practice.
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