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Share your best —and worst — holiday gift stories
Is giving gifts your love language? Is it your partner's?
It’s the time of year when I expect to receive at least one or two Love Letters about … gift disappointment.
These letter writers never seem to be materialistic souls who demand expensive things and are miserable when they don’t get them. Usually, these people are upset because they don’t feel seen in a relationship — and now have the bad gifts to prove it.
Maybe they worked hard to come up with a creative gift for a partner, and what they got in return was … one of those gift cards you can buy at the counter at Target. Or something so practical it wasn’t fun at all.
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Not everyone is good at coming up with creative gifts or knowing what kind of gift a person desires. Some people buy things to please themselves. (An example: I used to be one of those wedding guests who refused to use the registry. I’d buy creative things for a couple and would pat myself on the back for coming up with such a unique present. Now I realize the registry is there for a reason, and I’m happy to get people what they need. Sorry to couples who now have weird popsicle makers they never asked for in their basements.)
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The point is, everyone has different feelings about gifts. In some relationships, they’re not important at all.
I thought we could offer up a list of gifts we’ve loved (and why), gifts that left us scratching our heads, gifts we gave when relationships were very new, and gifts we still think about, in general. It can involve stories from this year – or the past.
Also accepting any thoughts about when it’s OK to exchange and return.
Maybe we’ll learn some things. Perhaps we’ll get some ideas for next year.
I’ll start.
The best holiday gift I received in recent years was from an important person in my life who bought me a new cover for my cotton candy machine because the old one had a hole in it and was scratched up. It was practical, sweet, something I wouldn’t have thought to buy for myself, and showed that this person was paying attention. Cotton candy, and my machine, are important to me, and he knew it. My machine needed a touchup, for sure.
In more self-critical news, I think I’ve just learned to stop buying books for people that are really just titles I want them to have read.
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Feel free to contribute to the list, and if you have relationship questions that came up during the holidays — or questions you want to address as we start a new year — send them (anonymously) by using this form.
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