It all started on a company-wide work trip. There was a new employee that caught my eye, and apparently I caught his too. We chatted for a long while and it flowed so naturally. We hooked up twice on the work trip. Younger me would’ve never done such a thing, but it was so fun. I wasn’t expecting anything out of it since we both lived in different states, but we kept in touch and we chatted here and there. The interest kept growing between us. It didn’t matter to me that he was a single dad. Normally it would be a turn off, but he was surpassing any love interest I’d in the past. 

I was invited to a wedding a few hours from where he lives, so I invited him to be my plus-one. He said YES and scheduled a babysitter. But at the last minute, he got pneumonia and couldn’t come. I was devastated. We had been talking more than ever leading up to the wedding. 

After, we kept in touch. We FaceTimed and texted. My feelings were growing, but we hadn’t had a conversation yet. You don’t know me, but initiating a conversation on feelings is probably the last thing I ever thought I would do (thanks, therapy!). So we FaceTimed, and before he had to go, I told him how I felt. I asked him if it was mutual, because I didn’t want to continue pursuing the connection or letting myself fall for nothing. I’ll paraphrase his response because I blacked out for some of it. He said that it wasn’t a mystery to him how I felt about him, but he saw it being mostly a friendship; that the circumstances of living in different places wasn’t conducive for a relationship, especially because he generally doesn’t even date where he lives.

He also said that there was a romantic connection between us, but I don’t remember what else he said about it. He mentioned being able to connect here and there, like we planned (he was coming my state for a trip, and I have meetings in his state). Is he scared? Is he avoiding a real connection? I don’t understand why someone would seem so genuine and honest about a connection would  encourage my feelings, only to say, “Nothing will come of this” in the end. 

I feel confused, disappointed, and sad. I really thought we might become something special, even with the distance between us. I keep seeing TikToks (I know) about how if men aren’t ready for a relationship, then it doesn’t matter how great the connection is or how amazing you are; it simply only matters if they are READY for a relationship. If they are, then whoever is in front of them at that point and time, they will snatch up. Do you think that’s true? I’m hoping that it’s only a matter of timing. That if it’s meant to be it will, be. Thanks for listening.

– Disappointed