First I want to clarify that we’re going to be talking about relationships that begin in a healthy, legal way, where everyone is old enough to make their own decisions.

With that in mind, I think a lot of people are perfectly fine when they see a couple with an age gap. I do think some worry – especially when the younger partner is very young – that the older party knows so much that the younger person doesn’t have much agency. There’s also the trope that a younger person has nefarious plans – that it’s about money or some other thing to get.

The thing is, it doesn’t matter what others think. It only matters that the two of you care about each other and have a community of supportive people. It only matters that you treat each other well.

Do try to give people the benefit of the doubt; it might take someone a beat to realize you and your spouse are married and happily so. Also be empathetic to older women who have long seen people their age seek younger partners. I see that changing a lot (and I do have a bunch of women in my life who have coupled up with younger significant others), but that trope is still out there for a reason.

I’m a little confused about the sentence about who will let you work together. But … whatever. As for everyone else … all you can control is your own situation.

– Meredith

Readers? How do you respond to age gaps when you see them?