I don’t know why some people are like this. There are many good, honest humans out there, but the cheaters exist too.

I’m sorry this was a massive disappointment, and I’m glad you listened to your gut and dropped this guy, even with his promises. He lied to you – and to his significant other, I assume – for many weeks. Probably longer in her case. New relationships are scary enough; you wouldn’t want to begin something important without a baseline of trust.

There are some organic ways you can find out whether people are who they seem. Maybe after a fourth or fifth date you see where they live. It’s possible you can meet a few friends – the kind who say, “Wow, yeah, it makes sense our pal is on a date with you … because he is single.”

But listen, if this experience has turned you off from app dating, that makes sense, and you can take a break. There are other ways to meet partners; one of them involves asking your community to set you up with people they know. It makes the process slower, but for now, slow might be good.

I would like to turn it to the community, not just for advice, but for stories. Readers, has anyone lied to you like this? How did they explain it? Also, what is the biggest lie you told to someone you met online? Why did you feel the need to lie (please answer this one)? How did you undo the lie (if you ever did)?

– Meredith

Readers? All you.