Hi Meredith,

I moved to Boston from overseas. While here, I met someone I used to know overseas and rented an apartment in the same complex as her. We work in the same location and carpool to work. We have lunch and dinner together — mostly she cooks. We even have the same set of friends. In other words, we are mostly together except when we sleep and this has been going on for two years.

She got married young, moved to the US, and fell in love with someone here. Following this, she got a divorce and the love affair went nowhere. She still pines for the ex-lover and communicates with him from time to time.

Then comes me. She likes me a lot and gets extremely jealous when I am around other women. She has dropped hints that she wants to move in together but at other times has told me that she wants to make up with ex-husband. I do like her — or maybe am infatuated with her.

The situation in summary is this:

Me – Infatuated/Like her.

Her – Likes me but pines for ex-lover. Pressured by family to move back with ex-husband.

Ex-lover – Out of love with her but still in touch.

Ex-husband – Crazy for her.

Right now the arrangement suits me just fine, but long term this is not going anywhere. There are also other women who I am interested in and the interest is mutual, but it has not progressed anywhere due to situation I am in.

Should I continue with this or just move on?

– Messy Set of Affairs