We Live With His Parents

Wednesday | December 27, 2017

Love Letters Relationships

We Live With His Parents

I am 26 and my boyfriend is 29. We have been together for 10 years and have a 2-year-old son. We’ve both agreed for years that we want two kids. Once the baby was born, we talked about getting a house – and that’s when our goals started to differ.

We don’t have a home and are currently not even looking. We live with his parents, who are amazing, but we need our own place. He has a business in his parents’ name and saves all of his money for a house. We support ourselves with my income.

I feel like it’s time to move forward in life, and I’m the only one moving. I’ve been waiting for him to want the same things, but … how long do you wait? Is this a reason to let go?

– Waiting

We mention couples therapy a lot in this column, but a seeking financial counseling can be just as important. The two of you would benefit from having a session with a financial planner. That person could examine how you save money, divide expenses, and whether you’re getting closer to your goals.

Sometimes it’s easier to talk about money in front of an professional. It can also be revealing – you might find out you’re in better shape than you think.

Once you get to that professional, make sure you ask the right questions. Are your goals realistic? When does your boyfriend think you’ll be ready to get a house? Two years from now? Five?

Also talk to your boyfriend about the other reasons he might want to stay put. Is it difficult for him to imagine life without his parents around? Do they help with child care? Maybe that’s affecting the plan.

It doesn’t seem like it’s time to let go. Based on what you’ve told us, it’s time to get more information.

– Meredith

Readers? Thoughts?

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