I Want To See My Quarantined Boyfriend

Monday | March 16, 2020

Love Letters Relationships

I Want To See My Quarantined Boyfriend

Hi. Strange and scary times. I hope you’re doing OK and staying safe. Our relationship problems are changing. Feel free to tell me all about them – how it’s felt to be home all the time with a partner (or roommates), what you’re experiencing if you’re social distancing all by yourself, what you’re seeing (or not seeing) on dating apps, what concerns you have about household needs/money/responsibilities during this time. I am also taking questions about friendships and family. This is so complicated, and I think we can help each other by talking about it. Taking all your letters here. Also, here’s where you can sign up for the Love Letters newsletter. I’ll try to keep you less bored. I got this letter yesterday morning, and it seemed worth answering quickly:

My boyfriend has been visiting family for several weeks in a Level 2 country (midlevel risk, according to the CDC). His company is asking him to quarantine when he returns, and my company is asking everyone to work from home. I want to see him very badly after his travels and I would possibly be willing to risk it (versus waiting another two weeks to see him), as I can quarantine myself too, since I have to work from home.

However, I have roommates and don’t want to put them at risk. I don’t even know if I should put myself at risk, but I miss the physical aspect of our relationship and the coronavirus is spreading in Boston anyways. Is it stupid to see him before the two-week period is up?

– Hungry for Grilled Cheese but Cautious

Let’s start with a reminder: I’m not a doctor. I can’t offer any medical advice.

But I have some opinions. You’re not going to like them.

I know you miss your boyfriend, but you can wait another few weeks to see him. Yes, you could make the choice to join him in seclusion (you wouldn’t want to return to your roommates and put them at risk), but that would pose new challenges. You want to keep yourself – and others – healthy in every way you can right now.

My advice is to stay put and get creative. Send your boyfriend messages about the grilled cheese you’ll make after you’ve finished a few weeks of isolation. This is the time to get romantic – to send notes about how and why you want him. Also, a lot can be accomplished during late-night phone calls. Enjoy.

You say this illness “is spreading in Boston anyways,” but that’s the point. Everybody has to do their part to flatten the curve. You don’t want your time together to be tainted by guilt and a nagging feeling that you should be home.

You can wait. If you do, you’ll have a better time enjoying the rewards.

– Meredith

Readers? Thoughts? Any advice on how to get through the extra two weeks?

Distance Relationships