There was this woman I fell head-over-heels for in college. I’d never met anyone like her. As you can imagine, I loved every minute we spent together and wanted to date her. It was like we knew each other from past lives or something very bizarre like that.

My own inexperience with women, coupled with my very strong feelings toward her, drove her away and into the arms of another person. And even worse, this person is very much like me in a lot of ways, and needless to say, we could not stand each other. Devastated and heartbroken, I tried to break it off, despite her insistence on remaining “friends.” The problem was, I kept thinking about her, replaying everything I did wrong and mentally torturing myself. I would arrange to meet her every so often and bask in her presence, despite knowing this would never make her reciprocate my love for her.

After one final meeting, I decided never to speak to her again. I did not return any of her calls or texts after that night. I did it because I had a new girl in my life, and it didn’t seem fair to her. I also did it to punish her for all the heartache she caused me. I was relatively happy I was able to let go, even though she never really escaped my mind. Over a year went by, and then several weeks ago, she spotted me at a bar completely out of the blue. She was understandably upset with me, but also strangely happy to see me. After we’d each had a few drinks, we talked and I confessed my feelings to her (even though she already knew, apparently). She told me why she did not date me, and confirmed my fears that I had screwed up the courtship. She also said she did not love my nemesis, though they are still dating. I kissed her on the cheek and left.

Despite my very best effort, this girl is back in my life again. My mind is now once again focused on her instead of my wonderful girlfriend, and I feel extremely guilty. I want that technology from “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” to be real. Or I want a second chance with her. She is still the girl I fell for. What am I supposed to do?

– Wants Serenity