Meredith,

My fiancé and I have been together for 12 years (met in high school). We recently got engaged and moved into his parents’ house to save money for the wedding. His family is known for hosting almost monthly family parties in which birthdays are celebrated. I am always there, gift in tow, for every great aunt and second cousin he has. We recently got word of the next birthday party. I made a comment about my birthday being the following week, and my fiancé said he was going to make sure we celebrated my birthday, as well. It was not a big deal to me either way, and I thought nothing of it. He called the fam and filled them in, when he was informed that you start getting birthdays when you’re married in – but “we can make that exception.”

That day, though, hours passed, and then I was awkwardly told by my fiance that my birthday wouldn’t be celebrated. I knew it wasn’t his choice. No one new has been addded to this tradition. I was so hurt by this, that my future family outright refused to celebrate my birthday. I have been with him longer than his sister has known her husband. Why am I being left out? Should I say something about this to the family? Should I let my fiancé who it outright enraged and insulted fight this battle? Should I say nothing? Do I accept a pity party? Please advise.

– pity party to-be