There Are Strict Rules For Him At Work

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Q.

I really like this guy at my work. He only comes in once a week and works with our residents at a rehabilitation and nursing home as a licensed clinical social worker. He has positions at a few other places and works a significant amount of hours.

We have clicked during our conversations at work, and I feel a unique kind of joy, peace, and magnetic connection around him. When I’m his presence, we are both smiling, laughing, and making jokes. It feels natural. However, I don’t see him at work much these days, and he has yet to ask me out for coffee or to meet up outside of work.

His position does have strict boundaries between other colleagues, so I’m wondering if that’s why things have not progressed. I don’t want to force anything if it’s not there, but I feel like he is interested and I’m interested. What should I do?

– Interested

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A.

If there are strict rules at play here, he might not want to risk any of this. At the very least, he probably won’t want to initiate.

My answer, for most work crushes, is to start small – and in a group. Coffee alone might be too much like a date. You’re better off inviting him out with colleagues. See if you can gather other friends to spend time at a restaurant after work so he can join you. And sit next to you. And maybe more.

He might say no – or maybe he’ll be too busy – and at that point, leave it be. You’ll have shown your interest, and he can make the next move if he wants to.

Please don’t get your hopes up. He might interested … or a personable guy who connects with you as a peer. Don’t overthink it or build it up too much. Plan an outing, and if he says no (with no followup), enjoy him at work and move on.

– Meredith

Readers? Is this worth an attempt, considering the rules? Next steps?

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