Thanksgiving Updates 2014

Happy Thanksgiving. We’ll take the long weekend off. Enjoy these holiday updates. Our first update is from a woman who was dealing with her family after an affair. Hi Meredith, I wrote a little over a year ago about trying to get my family to accept my affair partner/boyfriend (I’ll avoid saying “lover” again as the notably harsh commenters seemed to have a huge aversion to the word). I found the commenters’ “advice” a lot more judgmental and crass than helpful, but I did appreciate the commenters who understood that my love life is my own business rather than my family’s. Everything’s turned out really great for me. Although nobody (myself included) was thrilled with how things happened at the end of my marriage, eventually cooler heads prevailed and my family has come to accept him. My divorce was finalized in early 2014 and I remain friendly with my ex-husband. We’ve helped each other with a few projects, chat occasionally, and I wish him nothing but great happiness, despite our really rough ending. My boyfriend and I live together and are super happy; he’s the chillest guy I’ve ever met, is funny and smart, and freely and frequently expresses affection toward me. The scummy start to our relationship grows more distant every day, and I’m so happy that things with my family worked out. The next update is from someone who was in love with a gay best friend. The advice that I got from you and others was to seek therapy, and I did. Things are going well on that front. I’ve taken a lot of strides in bettering myself and liking myself more, and am still meeting with the therapist. As far as Jake, the guy in my article, things are not going so well with him. He ended up having a meltdown of sorts, and turned into a completely different person. This both helped and hindered my getting over him, but I haven’t even spoken to him in two months and am much happier. There’s no guy in my life at this time that I’m interested in, but I’m sure that I’ll find someone who’s worth the wait. Here’s one from someone who wondered if there was enough love to make it last. When I wrote to you questioning if there was enough spark to make it last, I was really appreciative of the reality-serving that you and the commenters gave me. It took about a year for that to sink in, and probably a bit longer for me to realize it was time to move on. Eventually he asked me to move in and I told him I needed to leave him, and I needed to leave the city where our love had blossomed and then died. I moved to New York, and although I haven’t met anyone, I’ve realized that I am closer after acknowledging that my ex was not the one. I am generally enjoying being independent and finding my interests again, and the most rewarding part has been rekindling my incredible friendships that I had neglected before. I hope my story reads as a success, because it does feel that way! This next update is from someone who was postponing her love life. This one makes me very happy. I wrote in a few years ago about not being able to find love in New York. You and the readers were quick to point out that I was using my future move back to Boston as an excuse for why I wasn’t finding anyone. You were all so right. It was easier to blame it on an idea than to realize I wasn’t putting myself fully out there. After a couple of months of fun but short-lived eHarmony relationships, I ended up getting a call on my birthday from an ex-boyfriend in Boston. We had always stayed in touch due to having numerous mutual friends, but had broken up years prior as a result of being young and immature. We ended up reconnecting and I moved back to Boston at the end of that year (for many reasons). That was four years ago and we just got married two weeks ago. I am so glad that I opened my heart to all possibilities because we are such a great match as adults, and I probably would have just dismissed the idea based on our college relationship. Thank you for the kick in the right direction I desperately needed all those years ago! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, Sox Fan Now Back in Boston Our last update from a very recent letter writer who had her snow blown by someone else’s husband. Also pretty great, I think. Hello Meredith and LL Commenters, I was initially very insulted by the comments and had to wait a couple of days to go back and read them. But I took some time to look at myself and my behavior and realized I have been playing the damsel in distress ever since I can remember. The comments that stung were about setting an example for my daughter — I need to show her what a person can do on her own.
I no longer contact him. I hear the man and his wife are trying to mend their marriage. I am looking for another job (and snow removal services). I even got AAA. — Getting Stronger in NH